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Freha — SS Silvii scrap
Published: 2009-10-12 20:54:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 554; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 0
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This is image one try one for my Senior Show. I am WAYYY behind because of my computer issues, but I was able to finish this one over the weekend. I need to step up the pace even more if I want to get back on track. This still needs to be critiqued by my classmates and professor, but for right now I would say it is fin.For my Senior Show I am taking my Darelian Pantheon and converting them into easier to swallow forms, aka, a human based mythos. This is Silvii, the wind being. She has been converted from her Unicorn form into a sphinx type creature.
I would really like some feedback on this image, so I have turned Critiques on. This is the style my Senior Show is going to be drawn in, so fixing errors compositionally and stylistically now will be better than later. I turned critique off until I edit this.
Art and concept © *Freha
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Comments: 15
I know you turned off critiques. Most of what I'd say and then some, has already been said. Just an after thought you could play with. I don't know if you've ever seen the movie the dark crystal, but durring the making of the movie, they showed some of the preliminary ideas for the main characters heads that were more animal like, or wild, or cute looking. I understand that timing is limited, but you could experiment with coming up with a face variation that isn't a traditional human face, but a human face with animal features. Slanting the eyes slightly, elongating, just slightly, the nose and human muzzle area. I hope these thoughts make sense. I don't know if you would want to try them or not.
I do have to say I like the vibrant colors. I saw it in my in box and my first odd thought was ow cool water color CLICKYS! Ok. Not water color necessarily, but I still how you've still got a light quality about your work.
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I love the lights and shadows of the hair/mane and tail, very silky-looking and the way it curls is gorgeous. The pose is very well done.
My only critique is that green symbol in the background on top of the purple, the symbol clashes with the intricate details of the hair and fur, making the whole image appear to look 'busy'. The purple behind is a really good contrast to the creature's greens, perhaps add somewhere a slight hint of purple to draw it back to the critter again, maybe the eyes? or claws?
All in all, im quite impressed by this peice, from the pose, to details to colours and the subject itself is very unique.
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Thanks for taking the time to critique, I know you are busy right now.
I like the pose, I struggled for a few hours with the hind end though. I'm so used to equine anatomy that I wanted to use the same directional elements in the legs... which doesn't work with dog anatomy. There is no curl-back like with hooves/fetlocks.
The background is going to get trashed completely. The purple mess that is there right now was an attempt to give it a backdrop because I couldn't think of anything to put there. I love the purple with the green and blue though, so maybe I'll make abstracted purple clouds as the background.
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The anatomy I struggle with in canines is how the legs go when stretched out running, the hind legs straighten too wierd for me, it irks me XD I prefer watching horses run flat out, makes more sense in my head. I always end up drawing my critters looking like cat-horse hybrids in anatomy though, even if I have a ref, its wierd.
I encourage the purple personaly, as its a good contrast to the greens you have used, yellows would make it appear sickly and reds with that tone of green would appear awkward. Purple keeps it soft whilst keeping balance.
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To start, I'm sorry if this offends you at all, but I've been told I'm a bit harsh/blunt when I critique. I don't mean it that way, I'm just straightforward.
Anyways, the face bothers me. It somehow doesn't seem like it's connected to the neck at all, like it was put on as an afterthought rather than an integrated part of the creature. The facial expression also bothers me, and it seems as if from the nose and above it's too "relaxed" to be blowing wind; watching myself make that face in the mirror, my own face purses a bit more. Yet again, it gives a feeling of being an afterthought that you wanted it to blow wind. The wind, too, bothers me. The rest of the creature is highly detailed, and it seems very flat and uninspired. Hate to say it again, but it, too seems like an afterthought. Perhaps if it were more detailed, or if you were to overdo the stylization of the wind to contrast the realism of the creature it would fit better with the image. The background seems very slapdashed and it's too apparent that it's a very well-done Photoshop filter. The image would benefit better on a simple white background instead of that, in my opinion.
Other than that, it's a good image. Not your best, but good for a weekend's work. I really enjoy how you did the hair and fur, especially on the body of the creature and where the mane connects to the top curve of the neck. The colors are well chosen and go well with one another, and I enjoy how some of the color of the body is in the shadows and reflected light of the face.
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I take critique well.. goodness knows those traditionalists *razz* 
All the points you have made were brought up in class this evening. The background is going bye-bye... oh and that isn't a cheap Photoshop filter my dear, I do all my work stroke by stroke, no filters for me...for the background I am still unsure what I will do, someone suggested reversing the dominance of the swirls and the splotches, but I think I want to go back to my original plan and make a sloppy representational background. For Silvii it would be clouds, but I'm not sure how to compose it. Any suggestions? I think I may have to "zoom out" the composition in order to do it though.
The wind/swirls are also going to get a face lift. Ed wants the image to be contained within the plane, so I have to come up with a way to end the wind/swirls within the picture without it looking "chopped off".
The face is tricky, no matter what I do it is going to look like it was pasted on. I reused the creature from this old image [link] . I liked the creature design and I could put it to good use. The only way to make the face truly connect to the body would be to make the body the same color(as Amy suggested in class, not in a million years Amy). I did my best to work in green into the skintone without making it look dead. The nose, I am confused by, when I blow air my nose doesn't do anything. The tip comes down a little from the tension, but it doesn't wrinkle. The thing I did notice was that my cheeks puffed out like whoa... so for the sake of not making her look like a chipmunk(like I did), I'm going to leave the cheeks as they are.
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yeah well . . . just for calling me a traditionalist i ain't gonna help you
JOKING!!
i think you may have to zoom out on the composition if you want to do the cloud thing, which i think would help (the clouds i'm talking about). maybe something like these shots: [link] [link] would be good to reference. i think it'd fit in nicely, especially since it's a wind god(dess?) after all. as for the head: could you add a bit of the body hair tufting out from under it's right (our left) jawline? right in the area where the hair/mane connects to the face where an ear would normally be? it might not work with how the anatomy is supposed to be exactly, but it'll be better for the illusion - artists have to fudge reality on occasion to trick the eye.
and by pursing i meant in between the eyes. when i do it, the space in between my eyebrows tightens and contracts ever so slightly and draws them a bit closer together. or maybe it's just me. i don't know, maybe adding an emotion would help - something to "liven" up that area.
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Jesus man. You have 2 giant paragraphs of bash then 1 small paragraph of support. I like the picture, though I have mild issues with the head as well. I'm uh...Confused as to what class this really is. Did you create it? It looks like a combination of a wolf and a horse...I also am not trying to offend by any means...
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Please comment to me, and not at people who I have asked for critiques from. She is a fellow classmate and that critique is actually not that harsh, it is normal for the kind of critiques at my school.
Senior Show is not really a class... it is a guided course that helps you create a new body of work for a gallery show. You are reviewed at the end of the gallery show and it is decided whether or not you graduate from the program.
I created this creature, some may recognize the design from this old image [link] I ditched the horns because it made it look demonic and gave the thing a specific face. It is now serving time as the re-imagined form of my Darelian Goddess Silvii, a wind Goddess.
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oh, and it's 1 paragraph of "bashing" and 1 paragraph of support. the first paragraph was an introduction to the critique.
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Easy hun. I don't want a war started here.
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she asked for critique, and i gave her one. i never once bashed her, i gave her an honest interpretation of what i was seeing and how i was perceiving it. if someone wants a critique, it does not benefit them to pussyfoot around - in fact, pointing out the foibles is probably more supportive than saying, "liek omigawd, it's totally awesome but i don't liek like the way the head looks." that gives the artist nothing to build off of and leaves them with no way of knowing how or where to improve their work. she and i go to the same art school, and i'm sure she can verify that this is the way that we were taught to critique others' works (or, at least, i was - i don't know how the illustration department critiques compared to the painting department). i know for a fact that i'd rather have a very harsh critique of my works if i ask for input rather than people simply telling me that they like it, but then treat the mistakes superficially. it's the only way you learn and can improve yourself.
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wow that is wonderful. if you wanted to change something, perhaps a more surreal background (kinda like melting clock stuff) to give more impact. other then that, it is fantastic!
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I don't think melting clock would work either, this isn't a surreal piece. As I said in my description, this is an illustration of a wind creature from my Darelian world. I have taken Silvii and transformed her into something that the professors here can swallow easier... they have a thing against horses/unicorns apparently.
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hmmm strange lol. what does darelian look like? perhaps that?
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