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FullofSecrets — Marry Me? -Version 2-
Published: 2009-02-12 23:18:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 3517; Favourites: 162; Downloads: 30
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So I retook "Marry Me" with the idea of putting the "Yes" in the slot holder instead of on the board. I took some with seven letters and some with just these three. The angle and lighting was the best for this picture, though I'm still not very satisfied with it. I started too late and it was already getting dark outside when I tried taking this picture (Yes, I was playing scrabble outside, by myself, in the dark.
) Anyway... I do like it all the same. The way I took it I was trying to blur either to the "Yes" or the "Will you marry me" and have the other clear. I liked this angle and focus the best.EDIT: Hoping to do this for For 's Re-envision it! project.
When taking this picture I struggled between wanting to have a correct scrabble game (which would basically mean that I couldn't have a space and have the words "Will You" together) and wanting it to be easily read. This was the best solution that I came up with, though by all means I am open to suggestions.
Also, what about the angle? Is straight on really the most interesting way I could have taken that or is there a better way that I just happen to be missing? And if it IS best straight on, is it important that the picture be precisely centered?
Next, the letter holder. I like it being in the picture, although I also tried it a different way with this picture originally:
Is one way better than the other? Personally I found this one a bit more interesting because the focus was more dramatic, rather than the whole thing being in focus, but I dunno... With the letter holder I also felt like there should be seven letters but I wasn't sure how exactly to go about doing that. I could put nonesense letters around the "yes" but I tried that some and it seemed jumbled to me, less clear and less dramatic. Anyone think it would be better that way?
Lastly, would this picture be more dramatic with a traditional scrabble board (wooden pieces, muted colors, etc.) or is it better with the more vibrant, new looking pieces?
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to critique this!
~Secret
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Comments: 41
is an idea truly romantic and exciting. We are in time where no one would ever surprise by the ways in which marriage is requested. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l… " width="26" height="17" alt="
It would be a great idea to doing
The "yes" is a fast, as the couple already had planned, or no one would doubt to say YES. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/n/n… " width="15" height="15" alt="
It reminds me of the movies on las vegas. The life as a player plays with a beautiful woman he loves.
Innovative idea and lovely, men should not be afraid to do this things please! the women loves this things!!!!!!!!!!!
I love your idea! please keep your good imagination e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h… " width="38" height="15" alt="
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This critique is brought to you by #Critique-It
First of all, I love the idea. It's quite lovely, and I think the diamonds make the perfect spaces to be honest. I see what you were saying with spaced or put together, but this works perfectly.
Also, it shows breaking rules or boundaries, which could work well with the concept as well.
I do like this one better than the original one you did. In the original, yes was just laid out there, while this one, still holds the answer to the question. In the game, nobody would know what was had yet. So I think this one holds a bit more anticipation.
Which leads to your question about the jumbled letters. In a way I want to say yes and I want to say no at the same time. I like that the YES is clear, but it seems incomplete without the other four letters.
Maybe if you put them off to the side and spaced away from the yes, something to fill space but not take notice, perhaps it'd give a complete feel. I think that's one where you'd have to take a few shots and see what comes out.
If you did decide to do that, I think maybe if two of the other letters were N and O (but not placed right next to each other), it could give an anticipating feel for those that do actually notice it. Like, the answer could go either way, even though you'd see that clearly, it's going one direction, and that is yes.
You asked about the classic scrabble. In a sense, I do like the brighter colors of this piece. It adds a more dynamic and vivid sort of feel to the questions, but at the same time 'will you marry me?' isn't exactly a new phrase or anything, I think the classic-ness of it would be nice as well at the same time. I think both could be interesting, and to be honest, I think I'd have to see the other to decide which one I actually like more.
As for the angle, I do like it, but at the same time, maybe if you lifted your camera up to angle it down a little bit more, so you could see the space between you and yes. Or just pulled the letter holder away a little bit, whichever, would give the same effect I think.
I do think though, for the angle, maybe if you titled it a little to the right, it seems a bit tilted to me. It's mostly from the red squares going diagonally across the board. Also, you can see where the top ends on the upper left corner. Though this isn't exactly distracting from the photo much, it is there, so I figured I could point that out just a little bit. This is more personal taste than the actual photo itself. Also, the letter holder on the bottom, is cut off, I think if you're going to have it so close, if it could go across the whole picture or be centered in the picture, it'd be more symmetric to the viewer.
As for the letters being more centered, I don't think it'd really give anything to the photo. I think to be honest, I like it the framing the way it is.
With the length of the words, The 'y' for the meeting of the words works nicely and seems quite balanced since the longer part is on the left and there's a bit more space on the right.
Over all; great work e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/t… " width="15" height="15" alt="
e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h… " width="15" height="13" alt="
TORi
((( please do not pay attention to the stars, the critique is in what I wrote)))
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Thanks so much for the wonderful critique! I really appreciate the feedback and will take all of your comments into consideration.
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anytime 
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I completely agree with Tori, and I am just in love with this piece. I would like to see the Classical version as well!
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You're very welcome!
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this is BRILLIANT <3 and so sweet. great work.
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THIS is the CUTEST thing I have ever seen. Great idea!
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Thanks, I'm glad you like it.
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I much prefer this version. With the "Y-E-S" tiles still unplayed and presumably out of the other player's view, it creates a sense of anticipation, meanwhile as the omnicient viewers, we get the delight of knowing that the answer will be yes.
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I was directed here by the #Critique-It link.
- To start with, I love the concept. Its a fantastic way of conveying a message and the parallels between the games uncertainty of other people's responses to your words is well concieved and executed.
- The decision to use the blanks as spaces, rather than incoherent mumblings (willyou, marryme) was a good one, likewise with the absence of unneeded letters. However I will say that it may have been possible to accentuate the idea of a game in progress, and therefore a more dynamic situation rather than the more artificial and set up look that is present in this edition by placing a few unused tiles on either the board or the rack. Which look you prefer is obviously a personal choice and my preference leans towards the current style as much of the strength of this piece I think comes from its immediate and strongly presented message which would most likely be obscured by excess clutter.
- Moving on to the angle and focusing of the picture. I don't particularly like the straight on view, centered or otherwise. The other picture that you linked to, with the skewed cross and seemingly random discarded tiles forming 'YES' is much more to my liking. The off-kilter presentation lends a much more organic feel to the piece than the current view which makes for a more natural looking piece. This would perhaps be aided by positioning the tile rack so that the viewer is still obviously the owner of the rack but it is not necessarily fully in line with the displayed words. I realise this seems to be a contradiction to what I said before about sacrificing the reality of the picture but this picture needs a particularly fine balance. Too natural and it will lose its impact, too artificial and it will look contrived.
I understand why you have thrown the focus to emphasise the 'MARRY ME' (and again this a personal foible) but I think it would be better served by a slightly higher point of view and a clear focusing on all the tiles. Perhaps not quite as high as the top-down view in the second example as this would eliminate much of the tension created by being able to see the 'YES' tiles still on their rack (one of the strongest elements of the composition in my opinion) but higher than the current view. The reason I suggest not throwing the focus off is that I think all the parts of the phrase shown are of equal importance. The current focussing I think loses some of the significance of the answer that is being shown by blurring it and the reverse would happen if the question was defocussed.
- A few points about choices of props.
I think the diamond blanks are a good addition, as they relate to the subject but are not brash enough to distract from the rest of the picture.
I would like to see the set up on a old style scrabble board as I think the muted colours and bright tiles might serve to set off the message again, however I will stop short of actually saying this would be better as it may lead to a dull feeling to the picture that makes it less appealing. Only experimentation will help this point really.
The rack should be of similar hues to the board I think, particularly if you are going to stick with the defocused 'YES' as the current set up makes the lower section of the piece look excessively dark.
I genuinely hope that there is something here that you can use, though much is personal preference so as with all these things feel free to pick what you regard as useful advice or not.
Good luck with any revisions and future artwork
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Thank you so much for your comment, it was very helpful. I won't touch on every point you made here because I plan to do so more in the comment of my retaken photograph. I'm glad that you like the picture. All of your suggestions were good ones, and while I may not use every one, many of them will end up in the final photograph.
Thanks,
Secret
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I eagerly anticipate the final piece
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You know the way I first read this picture? 'Marry Me' and then I saw the 'Will You'. I think it's due to the way we're taught to read, horizontally. That and the focus on Marry Me is really clear. I you want the order to be apparent I guess you would switch it around to have the 'Will you' at the horizontal and then the "Marry Me' at the vertical - but then again, if you want to emphasise the Marry Me statement you'd want that in the horizontal. It all depends I suppose on the way you want the viewer to read it.
I really like the letter holder being added on to this one - it's not so random as the placement of 'yes' on the board game so I think it's great. I think it's best the way you've done this shot - nice and clear.
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Thanks so much for the feedback. I'll take all of your comments into consideration when I retake the photograph.
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No worries. Glad you found it helpful.
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i am a member and i think your concept is good. i like the perspective. as it has the "yes" at the front portion of it, it has made the message easy to understand. it is one of a kind i think.
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Thank you very much for your comment. I'm glad that you like the picture.
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Hi there,
I am here from #Critique-It
Very interesting concept. I like the new-looking pieces, the vibrant colors, the way you arranged the letters and the diamonds.
As for critique, although you've purposely blurred the background and foreground by using a wide aperture, I think that blurring the YES on the foreground is not working. It is what the eye is attracted toward at first sight and the blurriness is distracting. I think it would work better if the YES was sharp and the question blurry.
This composition is more interesting than the one you have in your previous image, although the color in that one is more vibrant. You could play with it a little bit more and pronounce the angle of the "will you marry me" combination.
The watermark interferes with the readability of the question. I know that watermarks are necessary, but perhaps you can use a custom one that is less intrusive with the subject, particularly because they are letters.
I hope you find these comments useful.
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Thank you very much for critiquing my picture. All of your comments were very appriciated and I will keep all of them in mind when retaking the photograph. I really appriciate teh feedback.
Most of your comment I will reply to when I reply to everyone in my revised picture's comment, but I just wanted to say that I only added the watermark a couple months or less ago. Don't even really remember why, just thought it'd be a good idea. I agree that it detracts from the picture. I'd take it off now but I'm technically not supposed to change the picture at all until "revise time". I'll be sure to either leave off the watermark or make a much smaller, less distracting one for the revision.
Thanks,
Secret
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Awesome, i love the concept and the colors! the composition is very cool too, love using the slot holder. Did you think about maybe putting a little bit of space visually between the question and the answer? that might demarcate more clearly a dialogue. I love the modern set, it is very fresh and definitely gives it a sweet, fun mood
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Thank you very much for your comments. They were very helpful. I'm really glad you liked the picture and I'll take everything you mentioned into mind when I revise the picture.
Thanks a ton,
Secret
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Anytime! keep up the good work.
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I really like the concept -- it's sweet and interesting, and I like that the "YES" is on the letter rack, it adds a certain storytelling element to the picture rather than having the answer right there visible on the board.
The image looks good as is but I think I'd also like to see it on a traditional board, with plain wooden pieces.
My $0.02. Great job!
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Thanks so much for the feedback. I will try it on both boards to see if one way produces a certain element that the other doesn't have. Also, I love the way you said that it was your "two cents".
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I don't know much on photography, so instead, I'll focus on my overall impression of the piece.
- I absolutely agree with the decision to throw out the rules of scrabble so you could have everything fit. Better to break the rules than make an otherwise fantastic message/concept awkward.
- For the angle, I'm getting a sense that the "Yes" is too close to the overall board. I'd like to see some space between the yes and the board, letting the viewer know that the player is hanging back. The yes on the holder is a fantastic way of building tension and dramatic irony - here, we, the viewer know what the player wants to say, but the person asking for his/her hand in marriage doesn't! Will the player put down the yes? Who knows, but I'm definitely intrigued. I'm feeling that if the Yes were to be placed on the board, there would be none of that tension. It'd be a static image, with no real past or present.
- As for centered/straight/angle, I'm thinking the only way to see would be to take multiple shots and then compare them. But me, if there were more space between the yes and other letters (or perhaps a subtly downward angle of the camera), I'd like it more. I'd say the same with the old muted board vs the new board. All depends.
- I'm going to vote no on the jumbled letters. They'd just create white noise and pull our eyes away from the main message (by the way, loving how the blanks are diamonds).
- Finally, I'd also be tempted to play around with the title. The board in the shot already says "Will you marry me?" so what does it add to have the title of the shot repeat the question? Perhaps the title could be a chance to give the board and shot another angle entirely, or a second layer of meaning. For example, what if it were called "The Player" or "Playing for keeps" or "Evening in the Park" or "After 50" (the last one might work best with the old board.).
I'm a big fan of having the title add that extra topping to an otherwise delicious cake.
Hope this helps!
=nycterent
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Thanks so much for the helpful comment. I'll be sure to keep all of that in mind when retaking the photograph. I won't refer to every part here since I'll probably do that in the comment of the redone photograph, but I do want to say that the title suggestions made me smile. I've never been very good at coming up with meaningful titles, which is why this one got such a lame one. I'll definitely do better renaming it, though if it's alright with you I might use "Playing for Keeps" because I think that one fits it absolutely perfectly.
Thanks again for the feedback.
~Secret
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No problem and you're very welcome. I can't wait to see where you take this idea!
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I love it, its so cute and sweet. Where can I buy a game of scramble, like the one you have up there?
Kaur
If you lose yourself, you lose everything.
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I think it's called "Scrabble Diamond" and it should be sold at most places that sell games. It's kind of the new version of scrabble, or at least was a few years ago.
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Hey, thank you so much for the information!
hehe yes I loved the picture. Everyone would love to hear a yes to a question such as, a proposal. It would be cool to see more of the scrabble stuff. Like other words.
Thanks
Take care
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Thank you.
~Secret
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ooh i see ! i cant tell now which version i like best xD
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I really really like this one Secret. ^^
Though the sides seem a little unsymmetrical it is still really good.
~Lily
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Yeah, it is a little unsymmetrical. 
Glad you like it. ^^
~Secret
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sorry
but it still looks awesome!
~Lily
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