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HelevornArt — OCT-Aidan: Fear
#anglosaxon #death #despair #dread #dream #fear #helmet #historical #ink #mask #nightmare #norse #oc #surreal #undead #viking #sonsofdisobedience #bookillustration #micronpendrawing
Published: 2017-08-21 16:39:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 874; Favourites: 24; Downloads: 0
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~ OCT-Aidan: Fear ~“Why don't you want to see me, Aidan?” his mother spoke with teary sadness. “Why don't you let me touch you? I used to cradle you and sing to you, wouldn't you like that any more?”
“You disappoint me, Aidan,” uttered Aedgar's severed head reproachfully. “Why do you run from us? Be a man and look me in the eye when I speak to you!”
Aidan could not move, only tremble and repeat:
“No, no, please! I can't...I can't... God, no!”
(fragment from Sons of Disobedience)
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My entry for 's task "Fear". I've always described Aidan as morbid, so here it goes:
Aidan's greatest fear is a violent and gruesome death. Every since he was a child he would imagine finding his mother dead, and the older he grew and the more he got to see of dead bodies and understand about pain, the worse this fear got. In his nightmares, he sees his mother Merwyn burning in Hell for her sins and older brother Aedgar beheaded and disfigured in battle. Though he wants to be a warrior, he's afraid that he would be die foolishly, powerlessly, after a long agony and bearing terrible wounds.
The helmet Aedgar (left) is wearing is based on the Sutton Hoo helmet .Media: ink pens (finally experimenting with ink and I love it, so you'll be seeing more in this style ^^)
Related stuff:
MERWYN, Aidan's mother:
Dreamless Sleep - another scene about Aidan's nightmares about her deaht
Saint and Sinner
A Distant Memory - Merwyn and Aidan
AEDGAR, Aidan's brother:
Another soldier in God's Army - Aedgar and Aidan
In nomine veritas
Aedgar - to see the mask better
Related content
Comments: 35
Goodness, this is horrific. I can't imagine the terror of thoughts and dreams like this! Your inkwork is gorgeous!!
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Indeed, it's a terrible obsession to have. Thank you, I'm happy with this one myself! ^^
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Ohhh wow, this really is morbid. Now I see what you mean!
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Oh wow great job with the ink! All the crosshatching looks really interesting. Are you relatively new with ink? You did a super great job of making everything look detailed but still easy to identify what's what. I've been messing with markers so I've been using more solid and simple shapes.
I think I share his fear at least somewhat, the thought of a messy death makes me uncomfortable but at the same time I'm like "well I won't really know either" But finding gory deaths of loved ones is hard, since the image of any death typically stays in your head.
Oh, and what tool did you use to ink? Like, what brand? I'm curious. :0
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Thanks a lot, glad to hear that!
Yes, this is the first time I've used ink, but considering that I've done basically the same thing in graphite pencils for many years I guess the shift to ink pens isn't so big. (I just need to not make mistakes because I won't be able to erase them as easily xD I sketch in pencil first for this reason). I'm using Rotring graphic pens, different sizes.
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If I was conscious of what happened to my remains I think it'd be super cool if my bones could fossilize and be found later, I loove prehistoric fossils. But eh, whoever is dealing with my remains gets to decide in the end. But in the description you said Aidan sees death a lot? That would make him think about it more, like if he buries them he'd know exactly what the gravediggers and family and all them go through. Prooobably don't want them scarred by gore.
Oh yeah, since I use more solid shapes in my digital stuff makes sense that I'd go straight to that too. So in my case it's a bigger shift, whereas yours is really just going from erasable to permanent and that's pretty much it. One of my favorite parts about traditional art, in this case ink, is actually that you can't fix mistakes. So I end up focusing more on the big picture than a line I keep undoing. Ooh, I was thinking of picking up micron pens but I'll check those out too. Also, do you happen to know of any brush pens? That's another thing I want to try.
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Hah yeaah, that would be cool
That's right, it's a great shift from digital! And it's an interesting perspective, that it keep you more focused... I hadn't thought about that.
I haven't used brush pens, but I'd like to try them at some point. Calligraphy must look amazing with brush pens!
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I wonder how fossils will be dealt with several years from now, since they already have like face reconstruction stuff. :0
Yeah! Sadly I've been super busy with school so I haven't been able to do much of any art lately. I really wanna pick up the markers and watercolor again. But ugh, Chemistry is hard. But yeah not being able to erase mistakes forces you to not be a perfectionist, which is nice.
Somedaaay I'll get my hands on one. I hadn't really thought of calligraphy, it's gotta look super awesome with brush pens! I also watched a video on dip pens today with a soupy ink, and that looked cool too.
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When I look at this, it reminds me of old books featuring nightmarish illustrations, giving out symbolism of what's happening.
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Thank you, I like the comparison!
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I'm especially enamored by the way you drew the folds of Aidan's clothing and the cascading waves of Merwyn's long hair - there's a fluidity to your lines that really captures my eye. I just can't get over the beauty of your crosshatched shading. It's amazing. The grittiness of the lines, the contrast of the black-and-white color scheme, all of it really adds up to the raw vibe of the piece, and therefore, Aidan's fear. I love how you make use of blank space (e.g. at Aidan's arms and hands) to keep the image clean and clear~
Aidan just looks so scared, so lonely, as he hides his face into his knees. His posture is one of fear and fright, and it is clear just how much his nightmare (and imagination) distresses him. The fear of a horrible death, of the people you love dying horribly (and then burning in hell) is a very human one, more so back in the past, when the reality of getting beheaded on the battlefield or dying in agony was much more present than it is in modern times.
The dialogue only makes this piece more haunting. Merwyn's black eye, and Aedgar's loose head (the helmet looks GREAT btw!) are daunting, and especially reading Merwyn's motherly line of dialogue is chilling: she's Aidan's mother, loving him still, but she's dead dead dead dead. Aidan must've loved his brother and his mother so much...
I hope that Aidan, at being confronted with the Vikings (and therefore, their excessive warrior culture 
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Thank you for the wonderful and insightful words! Your comments always amaze me because of how well you can see beyond the surface of things!
Indeed, Aidan did love his mother a lot (he was very close to her, always together - much to his father's disapproval who thought he should be hanging out with men and learn manly things instead) and he admires his brother unconditionally although the relationship is pretty much one-sided, or at least Aedgar doesn't show his affection for Aidan. He does learn to cope with this fear and understand it better because he sees death more often but tries to understand it instead it running from it, understand what it is that scares him most about it.
I'm happy you like the drawing as well and I hope I will be able to work with ink productively (not every attempt is as successful as this one, as I've seen recently xD)
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The details are amazing!
This drawing sure deserves more attention!
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Gorgeous! Like everyone has said, the choice of medium was a good choice, it really shows the darkness and foreboding in the piece!
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Wow, I don't think I've seen you using ink before! A perfect choice for this task - ink suits dark themes somehow, maybe because you can achieve such perfect black with it and play with heavier linework. It certainly works here, I absolutely love the crosshatch (I have a weak spot for it anyway, but it makes this artwork even better than it is, well, objectively
I can kind of understand Aidan's fears, he's got a very vivid imagination, it can fuel this kind of fears a lot. It's especially understandable given the times he's living in, with death and suffering being a pretty common sight. For such a sensitive person as Aidan it does make sense he's scared of it, also because he was brought up in a slightly better environment as a noble kid and probably never experienced very gruesome pain himself.
And this helmet! And Merwyn's hair! And Aidan's whole figure - this artwork is just so powerful
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Thank you for the awesome feedback and insight! 
You're right, I also felt the need for some kind of background so I already added some ink lines in a vertical pattern (water paint would have worked nicely, but I didn't think about it and I'd also be very afraid to do it since I haven't used paints in a loong time xD). I'll update the drawing (I need to decide first if I improved it or ruined it 
Indeed, he hasn't had much to deal with death and suffering, perhaps that's just it. And his vivid imagination certainly makes it worse. His perception does change (for the better) while he's in Norway, and Yngvar and the Wise-Women play an important part in this.
Edit: I updated it. Not much of a difference come to think about it ^^
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Absolutely
Vertical lines sound great too! I was imagining something like this: Aidan fear alt bg (just a gradient added in Photoshop). Well, you're trying out ink, why not challenge yourself with painting since you're trying out new techniques anyway
I'm definitely digging Yngvar and the Volvas changing Aidan's perception especially Yngvar 
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Ohh I see what you meant, it looks cool with the darker side up! And you even added it in Photoshop!
Yes, Yngvar has some more radical ways (usually involving blood and pain, he's usually into that kind of thing 
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Haunting and it definitely captures the subject!~
Great to see you using inks too btw!^^ It's definitely my favourite medium at the moment...even if it is monochromatic - although after spending three days layering colours in my last colour sketch, I'm quite content to stick with a two 'colour' pallet XD How ironic too that you used the Sutton Hoo helmet as a base...I only just saw it in the British museum the other day.
Once again, I'm envious of the ease with which you draw, but enjoying your art! I look forward to seeing more of this style
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Thanks so much!
Ah really?
I will be using ink again soon, especially when I want to go for this sharp dramatic look which graphite pencils can't achieve. I'm curious to see your two colour pallent drawing! Is is a drawing of Khrail by any chance?
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Pleasure^^
long with the Victoria & Albert, the British Museum has definitely been the most impressive museum experience from my time here Very enlightening and inspiring, although after a few hours of standing and staring my back was killing me in both of them
Excellent! Well, I've been experimenting with speed sketching in the Epping Forest and around St. Pancras, but nothing for my stories I'm afraid...apart from STILL trudging my way through the illustration for Broken Heart of the Forest I will draw Khrail and Lucilia at some point, I have to...I just don't know when or how. I challenged myself to quickly sketch (without reference) a female nude the other day and it came out decently. So I'm building confidence with the human form...slowly
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It's tiring, I remember that too. So cool that you're in London right now, it's such an amazing city! So how long is your trip to England all in all?
Do you feel more comfortable with faces or full-bodies? I sure now it's the first for me, since I still struggle with full-bodies. It's great that you're practising more, whatever you draw helps a lot when it comes to speed!
Oh you haven't finished Broken Heart of the Forest yet? I was wondering why you haven't posted the result.
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It is indeed quite a place. And yet strangely...unintimidating. 2 months in total - I'm leaving next week Wednesday and flying back overnight by myself to South Africa.
I'd rather do a full body with no face, or a full page facial shot. Whenever I've drawn full body images, the face has always been the worst part of it and in three cases so far the sketches have remained incomplete and not been posted because of the face (for Ralen, Vaellaria and another character). It's helping...I'm not proud of the results, but it's helping.
Trust me, the minute that sketch is complete, you and all the world will here my cry of jubilant celebration It's been the single most time consuming and drawn out project I've ever attempted. Thus far, I've completed about 3/4 of the background and Ivayel's hair...
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This is AMAZING. This is quite different from what we usually see--it's cool to see you finally post something made from ink!
This is so horrifying. I love how the contrast of the ink really makes the scene more terrifying. Merwyn's tired eyes and her long, unruly hair, and headless Aedgar, along with Aidan's pose really hammer home his recurring nightmares.
Was Aedgar actually killed in such a gruesome manner, or is this just part of Aidan's fear of death manifesting and making things more horrible than they actually were? After Aidan learns about pagan faith of the Vikings, does his view of Hell become less frightening, and does he still feel that Merwyn will still go to Hell?
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Thank you for much for the awesome words!!
I feel that ink really suits my style, I should have tried it earlier (I guess I was afraid of making a mistake and not being able to erase it, but now I felt confident enough in my line work to try it, plus I really wanted to achieve contrast and I'd rather not do it using PS on a graphite drawing
Well, not really, or at least not that Aidan knows of. Aidan always fears this when Aedgar goes to battle (also when he goes to fight of the Vikings led by King Olaf at London when Aidan is 14 and is at the monastery, for instance) and he doesn't know what happens to Aedgar after Aidan is taken to Norway, but this is what he obsessively imagines. He's afraid that these visions recur because they are true and the divine is trying to let him know, somehow. I think it does become less frightening, gradually. Realizing that people aren't exactly only good or only bad, he starts to doubt that Merwyn would be in Hell only for cheating on her husband with a man she was in love with (and if that was enough reason to send one to Hell, it means that Hell would be a familiar place to Aidan because everyone he knows would be there
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Yeah, it would be very interesting to see this style mixed with the coloured pencil. 
Btw, does Aidan ever see Aedgar again...? When he eventually returns to England, does he see him, or do we find out that Aedgar actually passed away, or do we just never find out?
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Definitely!
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We do or don't know...? XD
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We do, it will be quite clear at some point in the novel
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