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JessaMar — Breaking slowly
#death #grief #illness #loss #terminal
Published: 2019-07-28 23:46:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 492; Favourites: 24; Downloads: 0
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Description
Trigger Warning: see descriptionLooking for positives
in the dust.
Thinking this through
and trying not to think
and knowing the wrong things.
Not talking about it
when there's nothing else to talk about.
Getting hopes up
to trip over.
Being there
and being what's needed
and forgetting how to breathe.
Crying every day
and trying not to count them.
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Comments: 19
Wow, this expresses exactly what me else feels like ...many times
Sublime poetry.
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This is very well done, including the periods.
As someone who has suffered the loss of pets myself,
this piece rings true...with sorrow and dignity.
Thank you for sharing this, and I'm sorry for your loss.
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Thank you for reading and the comment. I'm glad that it resonated for you, although of course sorry for the reason.
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I am coming across this wonderful but also sad poem: Even if you are crying every day, you need to let go. When your pet is ill for a long time, it can be torment for it to go on till the end. "A pet is sometimes like a marriage": It needs care, time, responsibility and lots of love.
"Love is a many-splendored thing", but also sometimes has a clinching effect. Human and pet have grown together into one. But letting go and let move on someone (a pet) in pain, is an act of love, mercy and kindness. Your pet will know to appreciate this. But "love is also an open door", so leave your heart open for the memory and soul of your pet living in it. Dead is only someone who is forgotten, so forget it not!
The fullstops after every phrase are not weird in any case. They emphasize what is going on in your thoughts. Even if they are very scattered, you are trying to steady your thoughts and to pull yourself together. Step by step, breath by breath, thought by thought, to narrate the facts that ail you.
After all, letting your tears flow and writing about it is an effective process to get over it.
Overall, a beautiful and heart-wrenching poem. Keep up that great work!
This critique brought to you by Reindeth critiquing team. Merry Critmas!
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Thanks for the critique and the words of wisdom.
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Thank you for reading and the insightful comment - yes, that was the feeling I wanted people to get from the style. Thanks also for the condolences and, since you mentioned remembering the feeling, my condolences to you as well.
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I like the periods, myself. It is different to see them, and I guess I like experiments - plus they slowed me down to the pace I think you want. The poem definitely goes beyond a pet's death; you don't even need to say "the poem is about..." in any comment, imo. This poem works.
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Thank so much.
I often question whether I should explain what a poem is about... often times I don't. But then, it is occasionally awkward when someone leaves a comment that it way off base from my intentions. I don't mind - I think a poem can be multiple things and the reader should play a role in that - but it can be hard to reply to the comment without "correcting" the person and potentially embarrassing them.
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I understand. I can see how it might get a bit sticky. I say embarrassing things often, myself, both toward others and to myself.
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For me it captures the space of being absent to oneself. I guess grief can pull us away from ourselves, but perhaps it also makes us more present to what we love, in a sad way.
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I believe that's very apt.
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The periods were fine, and I really enjoyed this touching piece. Sorry to hear about your dear pet, honey.
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Thank you for reading and for the support.
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I read this in a much different mindframe before I got to the author's comments and it still struck a chord.
The poem is well done. Sorry to hear about your pet.
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I'm glad that it was meaningful for you, however you read it.
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