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mayday-daywalker In reply to Darion413 [2012-01-31 02:06:25 +0000 UTC]

Yup thats me c: I thought I replied to that? ne? well that would be fine and yes I do but not really when theyre mixed together besides ssbb

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Darion413 In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-01-31 05:38:57 +0000 UTC]

Ahh I see . And okay . I'm not sure whether spoiler or not , but here we go. Its sort of a long story but its like this. King Hyrule has awarded Link for returning peace to Hyrule. (Note: all characters shall be able to talk now .) Zelda said "Link can I have a talk with you?" She said nervously . "Sure Zelda ." Said Link. Link and Zelda were talking to each other saying this (Zelda- Link I think we need to stop . Link- Why Zelda? what's wrong sweety? Zelda- well... Its been 3 years since we got married and uh... its hard to explain . Impa- What's going on here? Zelda- Oh! uhhh... Link- Me and Zelda are just having a private talk Impa . Zelda yes we sort of are heh, heh, heh... Link- well. I'm going on a vacation to my birth place where my parents were at. 20 years ago. I just need to pack up and set up Epona . Inpa- (Whispering) You need to tell him now Zelda. Zelda- I will... . Zelda- Hey Linky! Link- Yes Zelda? Zelda- I have...something...to say... Link- What is it? Zelda- Well its uhh...its...its... Link- Its what? Zelda- Its...its that...You're going to be a father! Link- You mean whe're going to have a baby?! Zelda- Yes we're going to become a family . Link- That's wonderful but are you going to be okay with the baby alone without me ? Zelda- Yes I will, you go on. We'll be okay, okay? Zelda- Okay just don't let the baby give you a hard time in there okay tee...hee...hee. Zelda- I won't .) And so they kiss each other good-bye and Link jumps on his horse Epona smiling because he is happy that he is going to be a father. However, I'm not going to add a scene where the doctor takes the baby out of Zelda because Nintendo just isn't ready for that yet . And so on, by the time Link came back from his trip, he the new baby that Zelda showed in her arms and he was sooooo cute! Link and Zelda named him Link Jr. and had a party where everyone in Hyrule came and had a feast for the new baby . However that one night, Rauru the sage of light reviewed a profecy to Link and Zelda . Rauru- Someday you both will reunite with your child to end the rain terror by a new evil called Dark-Matter, who was also evil to Ganondorf. For the Profecy to be fulfilled... Link and Zelda have to give up their baby . Then another night, a terrible thing happened, a giant fiery war went on with hylian soldiers, gorons, zoras, deku scrubs, and gerudo warriors fighting the bad guys and monsters. The baby was crying for the scaryness. Dark-Matter- Get the child and destroy him! But Link jump in with the master sword and fought off that monster. Link- Zelda get our son and get him out of here! Zelda- right! And so Zelda had to run past the monsters with her baby, past the trees, over the mountains until she found a peaceful quiet place over the falls where the kokiri are. Then Zelda left him all alone. that's so cruel . However the kokiri took pity on the baby because they new how bad the baby felt. So they decided to take good care of the baby, feeding him, sleeping with him, cleaning him, and playing with him which is very nice of them . So when Link jr. turned 5, his adventure begins .

Well that's the story Marissa . I hope you enjoyed it . And I'm making my Super Mario 64 Wii ideas too .

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mayday-daywalker In reply to Darion413 [2012-01-31 06:50:39 +0000 UTC]

Okay, here's what I think(and it is constructive critique based off what I have learned making my story): Is the beginning just a summary? If it is, its fine, but if its what youre using for actual dialogue, then it should be more descriptive. I don't think Zelda should just bluntly say that she's pregnant because that would be a bit awkward. If she does, it would be funny if Link's response was more like, "........what? Seriously? You're joking, right?" "...no..." "OH well that's great!!...." and so on, and Link may end up getting paranoid/in denial and a bit speechless. IDK, that's just me :/ Also, what do you mean by 'Nintendo just isn't ready for that yet'? If there a scene that you want to add dont limit yourself c: It would also add drama that Link would promise he would be back by the baby's birth, and if not that, then the party. But when he doesn't it starts to worry Zelda that not only Link will never see his son, but vice-versa.
If you dont like that, thats fine, it could just add to the mood and suspense like, "oh noes! is link OK??" As for the 'evil profecy', instead of 'Ganon will take over and destroy the world blahblahprofecyblahfate.." and so on and so forth, but rather a motive behind it. Also, if you want it to be more accurate when it comes to the timeline, try doing your research. It WILL help. I've had to make some MAJOR adjustments to my fic if it werent for that. For example, After Oot/MM, Link probably goes back to Zelda with evidence that Ganondorf is evil and stop him before he does anything(hence that cutscene in TP where they're trying to seal him and the guy gets stabbed or something blahblahblah) and then he never escaped again like what happened in WW that caused them to flood. For ideas, in my fic, the main antoganist Metal, the next male gerudo born to the tribe, as a young kid became possesed by Ganon's spirit by releasing it somehow(yet to think of that) and blindly going insane and attacking people. This caused him to get sealed away for years and treated as a criminal, even after the spirit left him, but it still built up alot of hate and a lust for revenge, but he needs the triforce to do so...which leads into the rest of the story. And the end of this summary is actually kin dof similar to what goes on in my fic. Link does come and save the day, while he already has his daughter Cherri, but all the monsters unleased caused the twins Lyon and Liam(yeah, the names will probably change later)'s parents to be killed thus Impa finds them, takes them to kokiri forest, yadda yadda. But then, we're talking about your story here XD Lastly, I think Link jr. should be a bit older than 5; when I was that age I was barely able to get dressed on my own, let alone save the world. So unless he's just really special, try at least 8 XD maybe even go for 10 or 12, what ever works out for you. I hope you apreciate my advice, there's alot more where that came from^^ trust me, I know ._.

ps its Marisa not Marissa ;D マリサ

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Darion413 In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-01-31 15:45:37 +0000 UTC]

Yeah I guess it sort a is , and you're right that would sound kinda awkward , and you really are making good words for that , and I mean Nintendo is not ready for the inappropriate pregnetsy yet you know, looking under Zelda the doctor pulls the baby out of Zelda in which I did not mean to be predictable , and I guess you really know how to come up with ideas , and you're right Link Jr. should be a little older than that and 8 would be perfect because I want Link Jr. to be cute , and I was jsut planning on whether Link and Zelda can have more than one kid . Well I appreciate it, especialy that other critique with my Zelink Family but sometimes it is hard for me to get creative because they would seem a little childesh to me . Still many thanks for the advise . Though I may give Nintendo a big critique about the Zelda games because I wish they would get better at times

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mayday-daywalker In reply to Darion413 [2012-02-01 00:30:31 +0000 UTC]

well I guess I'm glad ^^ I've been working on this since 3rd grade(now in 8th grade, nearing 9th) when it started out as "OMG were going to send it into Nintendo and they will love it so much they will come to our house and take us back with them to make a game..." ._. boy were we naive... But after I realised how childish we were back then it progressed from a one-picture-a-page storybook into a somewhat legit fanfic/doujinshi thing. I'm still young so there's probably alot more room for improvement. and the 5-6 years it has taken me to completely change write this shows how 'creative' I am e.e I also thought 8 would be good because I had taken into consideration the fact you may add other children. But again, what would Nintendo have to do with your fic? Well if you aren't planning on uploading your finished story to dA, I have recently joined Fanfiction.net(for other reasons, but that's a different story) so I could see it there, unless its a doujin; that's a whole other situation thar XD

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Darion413 In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-02-01 05:14:26 +0000 UTC]

Tell me about it .

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mayday-daywalker In reply to Castella16 [2012-01-15 17:34:20 +0000 UTC]

hehe my cousin looks like link^^
thanks!

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Castella16 In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-01-15 21:49:34 +0000 UTC]

np^^

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mayday-daywalker In reply to bubblidreamz [2012-01-15 06:47:00 +0000 UTC]

I dont know you but I love you too. e0e

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mayday-daywalker In reply to day-dreamer-101 [2012-01-15 04:22:03 +0000 UTC]

*was literally 5(or less) feet away from me, and heard him SPEAK*

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day-dreamer-101 In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-01-15 04:25:58 +0000 UTC]

*whimpers in corner* I wanna see Vic Mignogna........TT^TT

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mayday-daywalker In reply to day-dreamer-101 [2012-01-15 04:33:39 +0000 UTC]

*had the oppurtunity of getting an autograph, but didn't*

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day-dreamer-101 In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-01-15 04:36:28 +0000 UTC]

I have lost all respect for you....*shot* xD

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mayday-daywalker In reply to day-dreamer-101 [2012-01-15 04:38:48 +0000 UTC]

WELLLL the line was REAALLY long and my little brother kept bugging me to go do something else. If we were paitent enough we would've :/

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day-dreamer-101 In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-01-15 04:44:44 +0000 UTC]

Dude if it were me I'd be like "F*** YOU WE'RE STAYING NOW SHUT THE HELL UP. " xD

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mayday-daywalker In reply to day-dreamer-101 [2012-01-15 04:49:45 +0000 UTC]

well he kept leaving, and he wasn't allowed to cause we had no adult supervision XD but at least we saw him, heard him, and...yeah I barely did either(hardly remembered what he was wearing, erdly heard him) XD aw well, maybe next time...if hes there next time...

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mayday-daywalker In reply to MagnusBaneisEpic [2012-01-15 04:13:39 +0000 UTC]

yup!^^ I took his prize(art supplies. some I already have XD)...

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MagnusBaneisEpic In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-01-15 05:27:07 +0000 UTC]

Niiiiiiiice. XD
Guess what? I read Love Hina. My friend bought it and I finished it for her... Then my mom came in to check on us... Awkward...

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mayday-daywalker In reply to MagnusBaneisEpic [2012-01-15 05:57:28 +0000 UTC]

uhm...ya... <--they need that

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MagnusBaneisEpic In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-01-15 14:58:11 +0000 UTC]

NO KIDDING!
Aly wants to know why you cosplayed as Fiona if she isn't anime.
I read Soul Eater though, which is worse with the pervy humor, but doesn't revolve around it.

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mayday-daywalker In reply to MagnusBaneisEpic [2012-01-15 17:33:47 +0000 UTC]

well, zelda isnt anime but there was PLENTY of that. actually just cosplay I mean, not merchandise(sadly).

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MagnusBaneisEpic In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-01-16 00:31:04 +0000 UTC]

Ahhhh. I HAD SO MUCH FUN!!! I gave out A LOT of hugs today XD

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mayday-daywalker In reply to Hamico [2012-01-15 04:11:48 +0000 UTC]

why thank you!

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Hamico In reply to mayday-daywalker [2012-01-15 04:17:51 +0000 UTC]

No problem.

(The tapping part is true)

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mayday-daywalker In reply to Hamico [2012-01-15 04:20:30 +0000 UTC]

same ._.

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