HOME | DD

Description
I figure as though I owe him this much at least...

A few words for the man he was.
...The woman I want to be....

The disappointment I see each time I gaze upon my mirror.

I will never be good enough, in my eyes, to be the woman you wanted me to be...

My limitations and flaws seem all too real when I try to gaze through your eyes. My accomplishments always seem so small...

It has been too long since I heard you say my name with Pride.

Too long since I felt as though I made you smile, laugh...

Even though you said you were; I can never believe I do your name justice.

I try; I fight and I damn well keep my word.

All we have in this world is our word; you taught me that. How our word is our bond.

I feel as though I dishonor your very memory when I slip... when I fall...

...Each time I dragged a blade across my skin willing my life to flow.

I've tried so hard to be good enough.

To be smart enough...

...Strong enough...

...Eloquent enough.

But each scar I trace these feeble white hands across is a black smear upon your name, no?

I wish I could believe that you think of me with fondness in your heart.

I've tried so hard... I have fought with each and every breath in me.

I can never forgive myself for foolish words spoken in anger; and those unsaid in ignorance.

I know in my heart your memory is holding me back.

But I can't let go, I've tried... oh for so long I've tried...

Feeble.
Weak.
Disappointment.
Weak.
Broken.
Weak.
Self-destructive.
Weak.
Dreamer.
Weak.
Daughter.
Weak.

I haven't done your Memory any Honor Da...

Please forgive me.

Because I cannot forgive myself...

Eight years Da....

Eight years and I'm still broke inside.

Eight years and I still cry...

I still mess up...

I still can't be enough.

It doesn't matter if you are Proud of me...

I can't be Proud of myself anymore.

I miss you Da... Please forgive my weaknesses.

I've tried so hard, fought for so long...

I just want to rest and love and be at peace... But until I am forgiven for the life I tried to end I cannot ever find peace...

I'm sorry Da. For each time I drew those blades across my skin...
Each cord I tied about my neck...
...each pill I popped...
and every night I sat in Darkness.

I'm trying Daddy. But I can't fight anymore until I find my Peace.

Forgive me Daddy...

I love you Daddy....

Daddy, Please Come Home

Description
I figure as though I owe him this much at least...

A few words for the man he was.
...The woman I want to be....

The disappointment I see each time I gaze upon my mirror.

I will never be good enough, in my eyes, to be the woman you wanted me to be...

My limitations and flaws seem all too real when I try to gaze through your eyes. My accomplishments always seem so small...

It has been too long since I heard you say my name with Pride.

Too long since I felt as though I made you smile, laugh...

Even though you said you were; I can never believe I do your name justice.

I try; I fight and I damn well keep my word.

All we have in this world is our word; you taught me that. How our word is our bond.

I feel as though I dishonor your very memory when I slip... when I fall...

...Each time I dragged a blade across my skin willing my life to flow.

I've tried so hard to be good enough.

To be smart enough...

...Strong enough...

...Eloquent enough.

But each scar I trace these feeble white hands across is a black smear upon your name, no?

I wish I could believe that you think of me with fondness in your heart.

I've tried so hard... I have fought with each and every breath in me.

I can never forgive myself for foolish words spoken in anger; and those unsaid in ignorance.

I know in my heart your memory is holding me back.

But I can't let go, I've tried... oh for so long I've tried...

Feeble.
Weak.
Disappointment.
Weak.
Broken.
Weak.
Self-destructive.
Weak.
Dreamer.
Weak.
Daughter.
Weak.

I haven't done your Memory any Honor Da...

Please forgive me.

Because I cannot forgive myself...

Eight years Da....

Eight years and I'm still broke inside.

Eight years and I still cry...

I still mess up...

I still can't be enough.

It doesn't matter if you are Proud of me...

I can't be Proud of myself anymore.

I miss you Da... Please forgive my weaknesses.

I've tried so hard, fought for so long...

I just want to rest and love and be at peace... But until I am forgiven for the life I tried to end I cannot ever find peace...

I'm sorry Da. For each time I drew those blades across my skin...
Each cord I tied about my neck...
...each pill I popped...
and every night I sat in Darkness.

I'm trying Daddy. But I can't fight anymore until I find my Peace.

Forgive me Daddy...

I love you Daddy....

Daddy, Please Come Home