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MrPlaid81 — MT pg 3
Published: 2008-04-14 03:40:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 1191; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 89
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Description
Was gonna post this Friday but, "shit got crazy, yo."Anyway, enjoy!
Comments: 13
The layout looks like it's done in reverse order. It looks like the bottom right hand panel is to be read first, going from right to left, up the page until it ends with this lady running on the roof. At least that's how I see it. Otherwise it's a rough top to bottom flow that just doesn't feel right. It's as if this lady is running backwards... but her hair is flowing as if she is running forwards. If it's true she's running backwards, then the first panel throws the rest of the layout off, sewing some confusion into this page.
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Yeah, this was a problem page. In retrospect I should have spent more time doing roughs, but I just wanted to draw the big pose. I think if I added a panel after the first showing her getting into position to fall into position that would have helped. The hair in 3 is supposed to be billowing up as she's landing. Oh well.
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The window in panel 1 is not the same window. I've had a few people comment on whether the storytelling works or not. The fact that they raise questions at all means that some work is needed. Yeah, I put a lot of work into the figure in the splash panel, I only wish the rest of the page was of the same craftsmanship but eventually you get sick of a page. Eh.
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This is good work man. Panel 4 is a bit ambigious, but Overall, the whole thing flows well. It does tend to get confusing however on where the character is going. In panel 1, she's running away from the window that I think in the main panel (2) she is crashing through. But who gives a shit? That's an awesomely rendered shot. Good work.
qp
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Shit, I never noticed that tangent. These are pencils, fyi. I think the splash panel could use speed lines showing the direction of movement. I kept forgetting to put them in.
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Also... you might check on the perspective in that last panel.
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I know that it's off, I couldn't figure out how to do it without redrawing the whole thing, so I left it.
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Really like the looser ink style on the main figure. Still not sure if it's easy enough to follow her motion into the room. It's probably just cause it's a backwards move - then she moves forward. Same reason I never could do a back flip on a trampoline. My brain just won't go that way. One little thing.... I noticed a bad tangent between her shoulder in the second to last panel to the line on the house to the branch on the tree. Not sure what you could do with that.
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Thanks, I photocopied the finished tracing, cut it out and taped it in place. You can probably tell where. Thanks for the compliments.
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yea i did want to mention that, you can edit it easily in photoshop, you may want to do that , but otherwise it works=] also the oddly shaped first panel on the bottom could work just as a rectangle, if that's the case, keep it simple, don't over complicate it bro=]
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Regrettably, here at the "Montana office" we have only the shitty Photoshop Elements to work with, which is Photoshop minus all the elements I use. I agree with you on that panel shape. I thought it would interupt with the porch element extending outward... I guess I could have cropped it to do both.
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