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serenada — Filename:IWas2Close2ThoseInMyCharge.png
Published: 2014-01-18 19:39:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 616; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 1
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Description
Although we know canonically the Rapture readjustment looked more like A Clockwork Orange, what can I say? I'm a sucker for a man who can carry off both chains and wings without looking too busy.Related content
Comments: 3
Your use of negative space on this is so, so great; as is the stark contrast of the background color with the body and wings. The simplicity of the background really works, too.. and I love the way you've laid it out on the canvas because it encourages my gaze to sweep across every time I look so that I don't miss details.
The only two potential problems I see are with his right wing and his feet/stance. I don't believe the way you've folded his right wing at the "elbow" joint is anatomically possible - though, of course, you could have been trying to indicate that it's been broken or dislocated.
As for his feet/stance, I can't tell whether you mean for him to be bearing weight on his feet (in which case, I don't think he'd be able to due to the way his feet/legs/hips are twisted) or if you mean for him to be suspended by his wrists with his toes barely dragging the floor (which doesn't seem to be the case since his left shoulder is down).
One of the things I've enjoyed most about watching your art progress is VERY present in this work. Though you've retained the raw, sketchy quality to your lines, you've refined them to the point that this drawing looks both clean and detailed. This is particularly evident in the muscles of his arms and left leg and in the shadowed areas of his wings.
All in all, this is a great piece and I think it's visually striking and powerful in its simplicity. Great job!
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The bend on the right wing could stand to be gentler, so it's not so much of an elbow, and more just reaching forward. I think I was trying to keep it from being too far forward too soon.
As for the weight bearing, the easy answer is that no, he's not! It's supposed to be a moment inbetween...imagine the left leg moving backwards to brace himself. So while I think the picture maintains its integrity, it doesn't convey the motion required, and fails on a more important front in that respect...
I'm glad I am moving your eye, though. I haven't taken many art classes, but the last one was composition and leading the gaze, and I try to be conscious but not over-focussed.
Thank you *so* much for your detailed attention and feedback. It's definitely stuff to mull on and work with going forward. It's a good half of what deviantArt is all about.
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You're more than welcome. I always feel a little trepidation at giving critique since I'm *not* an artist and I don't see with an artist's eye.. but I know that for me, the feedback I get from skilled photographers and what I get from non-photographers is all valuable, just in different ways.
I understand, now. 
Wings are so tricky and you did a fantastic job on them; reaching forward would definitely be hard to convey with the way his body is twisted - which isn't about whether you're skilled or not (you are), but more about the positioning being difficult to work with.
It also looks as though you stepped out of your comfort zone in doing this piece, which is awesome. The fact that you did such a great job on it is a testament to your talent and skill. I look forward to seeing more!
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