Comments: 55
lpowell [2008-04-19 21:28:07 +0000 UTC]
Excellent story. The first paragraph really hooked me in. The figurative langauge is fantastic.
π: 0 β©: 0
bloodyteardrop08 [2007-10-10 03:11:47 +0000 UTC]
I love this. She seems like an awesome person and I would love to meet her in real life. lol
π: 0 β©: 0
aceartistsalmo [2007-10-10 00:20:41 +0000 UTC]
this is an amazing piece of writing, this is.
π: 0 β©: 0
SpokenAubade In reply to dementedsped [2007-10-09 21:03:47 +0000 UTC]
Haha. Thanks; I'm glad you enjoyed the sketch.
Oh, and the vampire back-story? That was just me being sardonic.
Thank for the comment and add. (:
π: 0 β©: 1
dementedsped In reply to SpokenAubade [2007-10-09 21:20:52 +0000 UTC]
oh, haha, i see....
you're welcome! congrats on the DD!
π: 0 β©: 0
austheke [2007-10-09 20:39:59 +0000 UTC]
0.0
i am not going to sleep very well tonight. this is going to be ringing in my head at midnight.
not that it's a bad thing. actually, i think it's brilliant. the style flows so well...
"She had candle-light dinners alone.
She dreamed of stage directions uttered in a rakish voice by the dark-haired director with slender fingers. The roof was another dream, more rare and always set at night. But she would always wake up before she hit the ground."
that's my favorite part of the whole thing. that first sentence... i understood the whole sketch right then while reading that. i love it. absolutely love it. i will look forward to seeing your other sketches. well done, well done!
and many congrats on the DD.
π: 0 β©: 0
MrDarwenstreet [2007-10-09 19:11:45 +0000 UTC]
There were some parts that just hit me in the face and simply made me pity Jenny, a wonderfull piece of writing. Its a sad thing though, if it were'nt fer the DD I would of never encountered this D: Anyway, shush Moose.
Well done on the DD!
π: 0 β©: 0
chugglepuff [2007-10-09 18:51:51 +0000 UTC]
Brilliant. I was gripped by this from beginning to end. Congratulations on the well-deserved DD!
π: 0 β©: 0
bringtheacapella [2007-10-09 18:18:40 +0000 UTC]
This really made my heart sink at some parts. I love a story that can really make you feel the way it's supposed to. Well deserved DD, congratulations
π: 0 β©: 0
Planotic [2007-10-09 18:08:18 +0000 UTC]
WOW!!
π: 0 β©: 0
stillherelove [2007-10-09 17:33:02 +0000 UTC]
hey, congrats on the DD and well done for this amzing piece of art. jenny is a character not about to be forgotten.
π: 0 β©: 0
FreakyFip [2007-10-09 17:24:03 +0000 UTC]
wow, this is just... wow.
I read the first few lines and the next moment I was totally into it.
Your writing style is wonderful, I really love it.
While I read I saw Jenny in my mind in her apartment, wearing her highheels.
And I loved the thing about the dictionary, it really fit well into her attitude.
If you keep wrting like that you'll become a great author and I'll be the first one buying your book. XD
Great work and now my fav. ;-P
π: 0 β©: 0
Raizaiel [2007-10-09 16:12:13 +0000 UTC]
This was masterful. There was nothing in here that I can find a problem with, or any errors whatsoever. Great writing, keep it up.
π: 0 β©: 0
SkysongMA [2007-10-09 15:26:50 +0000 UTC]
I wasn't sure what to think of this when I read the first few lines, but I like it. You walk that line between description and letting the reader figure things out for themselves quite neatly. This character is interesting- very, very human.
π: 0 β©: 0
Twoforflinching [2007-10-09 14:26:28 +0000 UTC]
The DD is most definately deserved, you have a wonderful talent.
π: 0 β©: 0
qbeentraining [2007-10-09 13:35:02 +0000 UTC]
This is quite spellbounding...I love DD's because they give me a window to explore the talented artists on this site... I look forward to the next segment...
π: 0 β©: 0
JanaRey [2007-10-09 08:18:24 +0000 UTC]
ok, this is a beautifully written piece, but to me, the character of Jenny brought to mind a woman living with dillusions or a mental illness. There were some details in this piece that mirrored experiences I have had with mental illness.
I know this is not what you meant to put across, but I'm still adding this to my faves because your style is beautiful & flows so wondefully.
π: 0 β©: 1
Katchzen [2007-09-10 02:57:56 +0000 UTC]
Lovely. Just lovely. I think I would very much enjoy meeting her.
I love that you gave her life and reality. She doesn't seem so much a character as someone you might see on the street or bump into on the subway one day. Or perhaps one night, if you're keeping to the "vampires don't do well in sunlight" thing. ^-^
π: 0 β©: 0
q365 [2007-09-09 15:07:21 +0000 UTC]
I think I fell in love with your writing after this piece.
π: 0 β©: 0
an-xperience [2007-09-06 03:58:48 +0000 UTC]
your words have been magically written~~~
your character sketch nicely shapes a breathing being~~~
may you both be blessed
π: 0 β©: 0
mrsvelvetears [2007-08-16 08:49:50 +0000 UTC]
Hmmm...there is such a dreamy quality to this story, and yet Jenny seems so real. I suppose she strikes me as being realistic because I know people who are much like her. All those little details - how she covers her mouth when she speaks, how she dresses up for no one but herself - those details represent qualities I see in others and myself.
I'm not sure, though, how I'm supposed to react to Jenny. Am I supposed to pity her? Am I supposed to respect her? I would definitely like to see another story so I can get to know her better.
π: 0 β©: 1
SpokenAubade In reply to mrsvelvetears [2007-08-16 15:15:09 +0000 UTC]
Yes, being a character sketch, it doesn't quite have a point, except to describe the character (which is a major weakness, I think, of the little write-up). I've had so much positive response to this, that I do think I'll write an actual piece with Jenny as a main character.
I'm very happy that I managed to express a dreamy-yet-realistic feel in this.
Thank you for saying that and thanks for the comment and for the encouragement.
π: 0 β©: 0
lifeisatraipse [2007-08-14 23:44:27 +0000 UTC]
hmm vampire asked to save the world. well if she saves the one individual who cares about her most then maybe that individual will be able to save the world with the love of Jenny.
π: 0 β©: 1
SpokenAubade In reply to lifeisatraipse [2007-08-15 03:50:23 +0000 UTC]
That would be an interesting twist! Hmm. I might just take that idea and run with it. (:
π: 0 β©: 1
lifeisatraipse In reply to SpokenAubade [2007-08-15 20:29:48 +0000 UTC]
reminds me of the very few i mean highly few individuals who do the same for me. saving me or bringing me up to greater heights, and I'll do my best to fix the bigger problems.
π: 0 β©: 0
ShadowsQuill [2007-08-14 20:55:13 +0000 UTC]
This is incredible! I love it.
And the thought behind the name is great too. I'm usually one to make up names to fit the feel of a character, but this is great. Jenny just fits her.
This is so real to me. It's wonderful.
Something that struck me is that as much as she loves the word almost, she should like the almost-husband bit.
"She had candle-light dinners alone."
That slapped me in the face. I loved it.
She understands words. Words are living things. Words shape us and control us. Why be afraid of any A.I. when words are the real, unseen threat. Words wrap around us and twist us till we can no longer think of escaping.
And music is even more powerful.
π: 0 β©: 1
SpokenAubade In reply to ShadowsQuill [2007-08-14 22:06:07 +0000 UTC]
I've been thinking of doing a series of these type character sketches - just for fun. Because it is very interesting to explore outside of the usual character types, and into the less common ones, the ones with quirks.
I'm very pleased you liked Jenny. She's my little sweetheart. I should write a full story with her. (:
π: 0 β©: 1
| Next =>