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The charisma of Virginia Beach always made me feel so alive.  The warmth of the sun on my belly caused me to sigh involuntarily.  Life was great all those summers before we became juniors.  I had 2 friends: Andie Miller and Gregor O’Brien.  We all lived on the same street only a couple houses from each other.  Andie could be cynical and cocky sometimes, but she never meant harm to anyone.  She had perfectly shaped eyebrows over brown eyes and thin lips.  Her hair was a light brown and fell down to her shoulders.  I hung out with Gregor more though; he was my best friend.  Gregor was very outgoing and always had a smile on his face, showing off his teeth.  His blue eyes would gleam and his dark brown looked good no matter what he did with it.  He had only moved to Virginia Beach 3 years before; he used to live in Scotland.
I almost forgot!  My name is Caroline Wilkes.  I have blue-green eyes (like the ocean) and light brown hair.  I have two little sisters: Jana and Madison.  (Currently) I’m 17, Jana’s 14, and Maddie’s 13.
The summer after our junior year would change my life on so many levels.  It all started in mid-June after school ended (who keeps track of the days after that?).  After coming back from the beach that was right near our cottage/house, I ran to the side of our house with my boogie board to wash it later.  Inside the house, Maddie read a book and Jana tossed a ball up and down.  “How’re the waves today?” Jana asked, still focused on the ball.
“Not so hot,” I sighed.  “But it’s beautiful out!  Why are you two cooped up inside?”
“Cuz we wanna be,” Maddie mumbled, flipping a page in her book.
I chuckled, “Alright, whatever.”  I hopped in and out of the shower quickly and put on a robe.  As I was about to call Eric, Dad called out for me to get ready ASAP.  I threw on a tank top and bell bottoms and curiously ran out to the station wagon where my father was waiting.  “What’s up?”
“I think it’s time that I show you something,” he said solemnly.
This scared me to see my dad so sad, and all sorts of ideas flew through my head as I stepped into the old beat-up car.  We drove out over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel and I asked, “Where exactly are we going?”  He didn’t answer, so I turned the radio on to an old rock channel.
About two hours later, drool ran down the side of my chin and I stretched my arms out wide.  We pulled off an exit that stated “DeWitt”.  I tried to think if the name had any meaning, but couldn’t really think of anything.  The town was dull and dry.  There was dead grass everywhere and when I finally spotted healthy-looking grass, it was in a cemetery.  To my surprise, we pulled in to it.
Dad got out of the car without a word, gripping a bouquet of flowers loosely in his hands.  Ducks quacked pleasantly on a puddle of a pond in the front entrance adding an odd sense of happiness to the place.  We got to the middle of the cemetery and Dad stopped in front of a grave and placed the flowers down gently.  He patted me on my shoulder soothingly and started back towards the car.  I knelt before the grave and read it, quite confused:
Caroline May Wilkes
October 19th, 1963- April 18th, 1990
A beloved wife and mother
RIP

I ran back to the car and I saw my father fighting tears as we drove out of the town.  “Who was she?” I asked.  “She died on my birthday.  Was she like my grandma or something?”
“She…” he paused, almost dreading my reaction, “she was your mother.”
“But Mellissa, your wife, she is my mother.”
“Step-mother,” Dad corrected.
“But Jana and Mad-“
“Half sisters.”
Have you ever been told something drastic, and have it just not “click” in your head at that exact moment?  That’s what happened to me.  The whole car ride home I stared straight out my window and didn’t even speak or think; I just sat there blankly.  Once I sat on my bed back at the house it all suddenly hit me, what had really happened.  I picked up my phone and sighed as the other line rang.
“Hello?” smiled a familiar Scottish/English voice.
“It’s Care.”
“What’s up?  You sound quite depressed.”
“Meet me at the Dairy Queen on the boardwalk, just you,” I pleaded.
“Alright,” he answered concerned and hung up.  I got my blue bike out of the garage and biked halfway down the boardwalk until I saw Gregor waiting at one of the tables near the small Dairy Queen hut.  I leaned my bike against the table and he held a brownie blizzard out to me.  I accepted it graciously and sat across the table from him.
“I’ve never seen you look this sad,” Gregor frowned and looked to the setting sun across the ocean’s horizon.
“Mellissa’s not my mother,” I muttered.  “My mom is dead.”
“Wha-“
“My dad took me to her grave.  She died on my birthday, probably giving birth to me.  She was only 27.”  I shoved a spoonful of sweet brownie ice cream into my mouth, hoping it would ease me a little.
“I’m sorry,” he sympathized and moved his chair closer to mine.
“It all seems so simple, but the truth of it is just…”  I sighed, “Weird.”
Gregor smiled weakly, “It’ll be fine.  It’ll be great.”
“That’s the thing, I don’t know if it will.”
“You should go home and get some rest,” Gregor advised me pushing his hair to one side so it stuck up that way.  “It might do you some good.”
I nodded and rode my bike out on to the boardwalk.  “Hey Carrie!” someone called out to me.  I glanced behind me and saw a boy with big blue eyes and a gorgeous smile.
“Hey Peter,” I smiled at my classmate.  “What’s up?”
He caught up to me on his bike and sighed, “You look beautiful tonight.”
I blushed, “Thanks.”
“I miss seeing you in US History, and I was wondering if um…”  He laughed nervously, “If you wanted to go out some time.”
I beamed (it was the best “news” I had gotten all day), “Of course, Peter.”
“Awesome,” Peter sighed, relieved.  “Can I meet you here tomorrow at 6?”
“Yeah.”
“See ya then,” Peter waved goodbye as he veered off onto a different road.  For the slightest moment I forgot about my mother and I rode home and immediately in to my room.

My phone woke me up and I glanced at my clock: 7:30 am.  I groaned and answered the phone groggily, “Hello?”
“Come on, we’re heading out to the beach,” Andie said hurriedly.
“But it’s 7:30!”
“Stop wining and get your butt down there!”
I moaned and hung up the phone.  I tied my hair up messily into a bun and slipped on a swim suit and some clothes.  I ran to the side of the house and snatched my boogie board (still covered in mud).  At the beach the sun had just risen and Gregor and Andie laid out on towels gossiping about something.  “So why are we here so early?” I questioned throwing down my boogie board and laying a towel out next to Gregor.
“I was eager to get to the beach,” Andie shrugged.  I sighed and fell asleep on my towel.  A couple hours later I was woken up by Andie who whispered, “Slut alert.”
I gazed up and saw the local bimbo in a skimpy bathing suit: Tammy.  She… skipped over to us and Gregor gawked at her.  “Hey guys, what’s up?” Tammy giggled.  She thought she was great friends with us, but none of us wanted to have to do anything with her; the only problem was we didn’t want to hurt her feelings, and I’m surprised Andie hadn’t said anything.
“Not much,” Andie sighed.
Tammy knelt down in front of my towel and asked, “So what’s this I hear about you and Peter going out?”
Gregor raised an eyebrow slyly at me, “Peter Jenkins?”
“He asked me out last night, that’s all,” I tried to wave it off.
“You think you’ll be his girlfriend?” Tammy snorted.
“Why not?  He’s sweet.”
Tammy heaved a quick sigh, “But he’s out of your league.  He’s a soccer player, a hot one I might add.”
“Go for it, if you want to,” Gregor praised in his Scottish/English accent.
“OMG, you have an accent?!” Tammy gasped.
“You never noticed?” Andie rolled her eyes, almost expecting that.
“It’s really hot,” she said, practically hanging her mouth open.
“Thanks?” Gregor said, unsure.
I signaled to Andie to follow me out to the ocean.  We sat on the boogie boards in the still water watching Gregor and Tammy.  Tammy was sprawled out on my towel showing herself off to Gregor.  “Whore,” I muttered.
“Why do you care what Gregor does so much?” Andie questioned.
“She’ll give herself to any guy and I don’t want him to get hurt.  He’s our friend.”
Tammy rubbed her hand against his muscular bicep.
“Mmm,” she agreed.  “So you and Peter, huh?”  She nodded approvingly.  “So where’s he gonna take you?”
“I dunno.  He just said to meet him by the Dairy Queen.”
Tammy pressed herself up against Gregor, making him move back timidly.
“So Gregor’s getting a job,” Andie mentioned.
“Where?”
“He’s gonna be a model,” she answered.  “At least that’s what he told me.”
Tammy blew him a kiss and as she… bounced away, Gregor ran out to us.
“A model?” I smiled at him.
He shrugged with his cool grin.
Andie raised an eyebrow, “You’ve got lip gloss on your neck.”
He quickly dove under the water and laughed tensely as he came back up to the surface.
Andie mocked Tammy, “You’re accent’s really hot.”
“She asked me out tonight.”
“Am I the only person in this town who can’t get a date?!” Andie laughed and fell off the boogie board into the water.
“My accent is kinda cool, isn’t it?” Gregor grinned.
“Don’t let it get to your head,” I warned him.  “Just cuz you’re European doesn’t mean every hot girl will come bounding up with their mouths hanging open.”
Andie came up from under the water and glanced at her watch.  “I gotta get home.”
As she paddled out I called, “Why?!”
“Usual family week trip.  See ya guys in a week!”
“Did you tell her about-“
“No,” Gregor sighed.  “Not unless you want me to tell her, I can.”
“That’s okay.”  I looked up to the sky, “It’s weird to think that Jana and Maddie aren’t my real sisters.”
He nodded.
“And the person I’ve been calling “Mom” as long as I can remember, isn’t my mom.”  I shook my head, wanting to come out of the depressing subject.  “So where’re you guys going?”
“Mini-golf.”
“That’s it?” I asked, thinking there to be more to her plot.
“What else could happen?”
“Sure she isn’t taking you home with her?”
“I wouldn’t do that,” Gregor looked at me funny.
“But most guys would, and that’s what she’s used to.”
Gregor shook his head and sighed, “I don’t think so.”

I waited impatiently at the Dairy Queen for Peter to arrive.  I hoped this wasn’t some joke he and his stupid soccer friends would play on me.  Suddenly I saw him wave to me and he ran up to me.  He looked really hot in his faded jeans and T-shirt.  His eyes glowed blue and his hair was mussed up.  “So you wanna go play some mini-golf?” he asked with a smile.
“Sure,” I swallowed nervously.  I had never been on a date before, so it was a little nerve-racking to be with Peter.  We ran down a couple streets and to the small mini-golf place near the road.
“OMG, Carrie and Peter!” a familiar ditzy voice squealed.
“Hey guys,” Peter greeted Tammy and Gregor.
“What a coincidence,” I half-groaned.  I ogled Tammy’s outfit… or not outfit.  Her halter had no back and had just enough material to cover up her… stuff.  Her jean skirt just covered up her butt; she looked ultimately skanky.
“We should so double-date!” Tammy suggested.
Gregor shrugged, “I’m up for it.”
Peter grinned, “Why not?”
Tammy moaned, “I can never hold the golf club right.”
“Scotland was where golf was invented,” Gregor mentioned wisely.  “Let me help you.”  He took her hands from behind and I could see her smile, satisfied.  He helped her swing the putt which got a hole-in-one.  The game continued like this and afterwards we headed out to a small restaurant.
“You’re on the golf team, right Gregor?” Peter asked.
Gregor nodded and held his glass of Coke up, “O flower of Scotland.”
“Oh my God, that was so cute,” Tammy giggled and… bounced.
The waitress brought over our food and as Peter talked it up with Gregor and Tammy I quietly twirled spaghetti on my fork.  Gregor began to talk to Tammy and Peter turned to me.  “You look great tonight.”
“So do you,” I laughed honestly.
“Wanna go down to the beach after this?” he asked romantically.
I gulped (happily though), “Yeah.”
After dinner, Gregor and Tammy went to a club and Peter and I strolled down to the beach.  I rolled up my bell bottoms and pushed my feet into the cool night sand.  Peter did the same and sat to my right as we watched the sun set along the pinkish-orangish-purplish sky.  Peter leaned on his left arm and gazed into my eyes.  “You’re so beautiful and I will do anything to make you happy.”
I sighed at his romantic-ness and he softly grabbed the back of my head and kissed me.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked softly next to my ear.
“Yes,” I smiled and pulled him towards me for more.

The next day was rainy and dismal so I invited Gregor over to my house to hang out and watch some scary movies.  During the middle of “Jeepers Creepers” Gregor sat up from the long couch and asked, “So how was your date?”
“I have a boyfriend,” I nodded and leaned back further in my recliner.
“I’ve got a girlfriend,” Gregor smiled.
I looked at him like he was insane, “Tammy?  She’s-“
“Don’t say anything mean please.”
“So how far did you guys get?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, there are 4 bases like baseball for dating in America.  1st is French kissing, 2nd is feeling someone up… I hope you didn’t get any farther than that.”
The girl from the movie started screaming and for a slight moment we were hooked back into the movie.  “1st base,” Gregor mumbled (my guess is he was hoping I wouldn’t hear).  “And you?”
“Not even 1st.  Tammy likes to move fast, so watch out for that.”
Gregor argued with a grin on his face, “I’m not a baby, Care.  I can take care of myself, don’t worry.”
“She’s just been known to be a-“
“What did I say before, Care?!”
“Right, nothing mean,” I muttered stuffing my mouth with popcorn.
“What about Peter?  He seems a little absorbed in sports.”
“Whatever.  Sports can be fun.”
Gregor burst out laughing, “Says the girl who dreads gym class.”
“Shut up!” I giggled and threw some popcorn at him.

So a couple weeks passed and we did the same thing: hanging out at the beach with our significant others and having a good time.  (A side note: Andie found a really nice guy wherever she went on vacation with her family and they see each other from time to time.)  Life was great and I had seemed to forget about my mother and moved on with my life.  One day, after Peter and Tammy left for their houses (like usual) and it was just Andie, Gregor, and I, I noticed something.  “Is it just me, or has Peter seemed distant?” I asked worriedly.
“What do you mean?” Andie asked, slurping on a Cherry Coke.
“He isn’t hanging out with me as much as we used to.”
Gregor shrugged, “That’s normal.  Maybe he wants more time to spend with his friends.”
I nodded, “You’re probably right.”
Gregor yawned and stretched his arms out, glancing at his watch.  “I gotta get to work.”
“Big photo shoot?” Andie teased.
“I’ve become a Jean model.”  He added before leaving, “Not what I expected to be doing in America.”
I smiled, “I think I’ll give Peter a surprise visit at his house.  He didn’t say he was hanging out with “the guys” tonight.”
“Alright, man,” Andie grinned soaking up as much of the evening sun as she could.  “See ya later.”
I pushed off my bike and headed down to the other side of the boardwalk.  I soon came upon Peter’s white cottage and knocked on the blue front door.  No one answered, and that usually meant that Peter was home so I slipped inside and crept up to his door, wanting to surprise him.  When I opened his door, I think I was the one surprised.  Peter looked up at me, as well as Tammy, holding his bed sheets up.  “It’s not what you think, Carrie-“
I fought back tears and shouted, “We’re through!”  I directed my attention to Tammy, taking out my cell phone and snapping a picture of the two in bed.  “I’m sure Gregor’s through with you too.”
I burst out of his house and biked as hard and as fast as I could to the mall, forcing the tears back.  A secretary stopped me from going into a closed set (I guess you would call it) and asked, “May I see your pass?”
“I have a very urgent message for Gregor O’Brien,” I said, still managing to press the tears back.
“What relations are you with Gregor?”
“I’m his best friend, Caroline Wilkes.”  I pleaded, “Please, this is urgent.”
The woman sighed, “Fine.”  I slammed the door open and ran on to the “set” where Gregor modeled the jeans topless.  His photo shoot manager (I guess you would call him) said the usual “you’re doing great, now do this” stuff.
Gregor noticed me and asked permission to have a minute break.  He rushed over to me and questioned, “Care, what’s wrong?”
I flipped open my cell phone and flashed him the picture before falling into his arms sobbing.  “They cheated on the both of us,” I managed to say through heavy sobs.
Gregor didn’t say anything at first (I assume he was in slight shock), but soon he held me tight (in a friendly way) and cooed, “It’s alright, Care.”  He forced me to look him in the eye and he encouraged me, “So this was just one person.  You can’t let him control your life, you have to move on.  Show him and the world that you’re not gonna let some stupid boy get you down.”
“Gregor!” the manager called.  “We don’t have much more time.”
He sighed, “I’ve gotta keep working, but promise me that you’ll be alright.”
I nodded weakly and he gave me a friendly, comforting hug before I walked out the door.  For a while I meandered around the mall and my thoughts drifted back to my mother.  I felt as if no one loved me anymore, and mindlessly I drifted into a bar.  For 3 hours I sat in the bar, and I must have had 5 Rolling Rocks before flipping open my cell phone.  Everything was blurry, but I tried my best to find his number.  “Hello?” a sleepy voice yawned.
“Gregor, itsh me, Care,” I slurred.
“Are you drunk?!”
“I shink sho.”
“Where are you?” he asked frantically.
“Da bar in da mawll.”
“I’ll be there soon,” Gregor said before hanging up.
I rested my head on the table to get the headache to go away and as the waiter came by to clean up the bottles I asked for another beer.  As I sipped on the beer, Gregor came into the bar in boxers and a T-shirt.  “Wanna ship?” I asked him, holding out the bottle.
“I thought you said you were going to be alright!” he practically yelled.  “I thought you weren’t gonna let him bring you down.”
I slammed the bottle on the table and sobbed into my arm on the table.
Gregor sighed, “I’m sorry, I just can’t believe you of all people did this.”  He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and dragged his chair closer to mine.  “Phew!” he coughed.  “You reek of booze.  I always thought that would be me, considering I’m the Scottish one.”
I laughed a little but still cried, “No one lovesh me, Gregor.”
“That’s not true.  Your sisters and your father and your step-mother love you very much.”
“I mish her.”
“Who?”
I bawled, “I mish my mothzer.”
Gregor lifted my chin and said, “There’s nothing I can say to bring her back, but maybe you could find out more about her.”  He sighed, “I should get you home.”
I shook my head, “If my dad knowsh I’ve been drinkin’, I’m dead fo sures.”
“My parents are out of town on business.  You can stay there for a while but then I’ll have to take you home.”  That’s all I remember of that night.

I woke up in my own bed with the worst head ache I had ever had in my entire life.  My dad stood over me with his arms crossed and his brows furrowed.  “Okay you know,” I groaned.
“Yes, and you’re not going out anywhere without me or your mother for two weeks.”
I couldn’t help but sniffle and I turned to cry into my pillow.
“Crying is not going to get you out of Gregor bringing you home drunk!”
I looked Dad in the eye and asked, tears streaming down my cheeks, “How did she die?”
My father stepped back, almost shocked that that’s what I was crying about.  “Well her heart just shut down after she gave birth to you.”
I whimpered, “I know it sounds stupid because I never real knew her, but I miss her.”
Dad sat on the edge of my bed and sighed, “I miss her too, but we have to move on with our lives.  It’s the only way we can get through it.”  He got up and moved to my doorway.  “Your friends can’t come over either.”
I nodded, “It’s understood.”
He smiled weakly and I followed him out to the kitchen where I saw my step mother cooking eggs.
“Good morning… Mellissa,” I said, biting my lower lip to keep any more tears from coming.
Quietly she replied, “Good morning Caroline.”  She looked at me solemnly, almost as if to show me she felt my pain (though I doubted that very highly).
Jana and Maddie looked at me strangely.  I could tell they were ashamed I went out a got drunk but they still looked confused as to why I called their mother “Mellissa”.  I got up from the kitchen table and muttered, “I’m not all that hungry.  Can I just go sit in the living room?”
My father frowned, “Sure.”
I moved out to the living room couch and stared out the window, holding a tissue to my mouth.  I noticed the drawer on the small table next to the couch and carefully, I opened it.  In the back of all the baby pictures of me and my sisters I found a sepia photo crumpled and faded from all of the years it existed.  The girl in the photo looked exactly like me, and she had her arm around a younger version of my father.  My father was in a suit and she looked absolutely gorgeous in a long (what looked to be) red prom dress.
Mellissa startled me from behind, “Your mother and I were friends.”
“And you married her husband?” I scoffed.
“About three years after she died.  I know what it’s like to lose a mother.  My mother died when I was 13.”
I pointed out, “There’s a difference between you and me though: I never really knew my mother.  I thought you were my real mother for the longest time… all my life”
Mellissa nodded, “I guess you’re right.”  She stood up and said, “You can wallow in your own pain if you want, but I think it would make you feel better if you got up and did something and realize that your mother is still loving you and watching over you.”
“I’ve got to stay in here for two weeks,” I groaned and rubbed my temples.
“Not unless I take you somewhere,” she reminded me.  “Come on.  I’ll take you and your sisters to the beach.”  I barely smiled and folded the picture into my pocket.

I saw Andie and Gregor on the beach but I continued behind my sisters and step mom until we found a spot to sit a good distance away from them.  I lay my towel out in the sand and I rested my head in my arms.  I noticed my sisters put their towels a sort of long distance away from mine.  My step mother went in the water and left me with my sisters.  Eventually Jana said, “I’m ashamed to know you.”
“Yeah,” Maddie piped in.  “Why would you do that?”
I sighed, “Because I’m stupid and I can’t hold onto a guy and I don’t have a mother, okay?!”  I could feel my lip quiver as I rested my head back again.
“What do you mean “you don’t have a mother”?  She’s right out there!” Jana practically shouted.
“Mellissa’s my step mother.  My mother died giving birth to me!” I cried.  I flung myself off of my towel and ran down the beach, leaving my sisters speechless.  I could care less if I was disobeying my father’s orders; I needed to get away from it all.  I got back to my house and saw that Dad’s car was out; he was at work and that was my chance.  I swiped the keys from the counter and sped off onto the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel (I have my driver’s license).  I found my way to the town of DeWitt and asked a local how to get to the cemetery.  I ran to the bouquet of flowers and knelt over them, weeping.  “Mellissa says I should just move on with your death, but how can I?”  Nothing happened so I kissed the grave and drove back to Virginia Beach, to that same bar I was at before.  Gregor must have heard I was gone, and he rushed into the bar and spotted me instantly.
“Caroline!  What the hell are you doing here again?!”  He dropped his voice down low, “It’s illegal for you to be drinking, you know that!”
“I don’t wanna drink,” I said (I was still partially sober).  “What else can I do?!”
“Move on-“
“I’m tired of people telling me to move on.  It’s my mother, Gregor.”
“I’m tempted to check you into rehab,” he sighed.
“I wanna run away,” I pouted.  “I wanna run away and forget it all.”
Gregor explained, “You will never forget it, Care, and maybe you just need a good friend right now.”  He smiled, “Let me take you home and I’ll stay with you, ‘kay?”
I nodded and walked out with him onto the boardwalk.  “Can we go on the beach?”
“Why not?” he shrugged and I rolled up my pant legs and put my feet in the sand.
“This is where we went after our first date and he asked me to be his girlfriend.  I had my first kiss here, and if I could, I’d take it back.”
Gregor looked at me strangely, “Why’s that?”
“I guess I don’t want to think of him as my first, ya know?  I can’t believe he did that to me?”
“Well, Tammy did something to me too.”
I giggled, “You find that surprising?  Andie and I told you from the start she was a slut.”
“I can see why too.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“She’s very… pretty.”
I laughed and then asked seriously, “Why is it that guys cheat?”
“Why is it that girls cheat?  I wouldn’t know.”
“Me either I guess,” I sighed.
Gregor took me home and explained to my father that he wanted to watch me and make sure I stayed safe.  Dad agreed and let him stay up in my room, knowing he was just my friend.  After I slipped into my pajamas, I let Gregor in and stared at the picture of my mother.  Gregor glanced at it and asked, “Who’s that you’re with?”
“That’s my mother and father at their prom,” I heaved a sigh.
“You look just like her.”
“We share the same name too.”
“Get some rest,” he advised.  So I did.

“We’re moving today and I just wanted to tell her, Mr. Wilkes.”  I shot up out of my bed, hearing Andie say that from the other room.
By the time I got into the living room, Andie had already left.  “I suppose you heard Andie,” my dad mumbled while opening up a newspaper.
I stammered, “I-I-I can’t believe y-you…”  I ran back into my room and under my bed sheets.  Gregor lifted up the blankets and looked at me with sad, tired eyes.  “What time is it?” I asked.
He glanced at his watch.  “About 3 o’clock.  You needed a lot of sleep.”
I yawned, “I still do.”  I whimpered, “Did you know Andie was leaving today?”
“Andie’s gone?!”
“Yeah, she just left apparently.”
“Get some more rest,” he cooed.  So I did.

Gregor was basically passed out on the bean bag chair next to my bed.  I couldn’t stay cooped up like this forever.  I crept into my walk-in closet and dug around for an outfit.  I slipped on a halter top and low riding jeans (something I only wore when I wanted to feel really sexy).  I slunk past Gregor and out the window.
I made it to the center of town and found the club that Tammy used to talk about.  I paid the admission fee of 20 dollars and once I was inside, I ordered a beer.  After about 5 more beers Tammy joined me at my table.  “Hey, what’re you doing here?!” she giggled excitedly, as if I had never walked in on her and Peter.
I glared at her, “I felt like being here.”
“Are you still mad about the whole Peter thing?”
“No, I’m still mad about you hurting my best friend.”
“Gregory?”
“Gregor actually,” I scowled.
“You know I never intended to be with him anyway.  I mean he’s hot but he’s not a good kisser.”
“So you just used him for action?”
“Yeah and it was terrible action.  I guess that’s why I started with Peter.”
I couldn’t hold it back any longer.  Suddenly I leapt across the table and threw my fists in all directions.  I pulled at her hair and scratched her until a bouncer came behind me and threw me out of the club.  I landed against someone, moving them slightly backwards..  “I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly.  I looked up at the person and smiled meekly.
“Come with me,” Gregor instructed. He led me across the boardwalk and scolded, “Why do you keep doing this?”  He noticed, “Is that a cut on your lip?”
I touched my fingers to my lip and abruptly felt something rise in my throat.  I fell to the cement ground and coughed up all the beer I had drunk before.  I staggered for a minute before passing out in Gregor’s arms.

…I know people had been telling me to get over my mother’s death this whole time but as I lay unconscious in Gregor’s arms, you could say I had an epiphany.  It was a dream, and I think my mother came to me and told me that she was fine and safe in heaven, but she was scared for me.  (I know, it sounds like something a little kid would describe, but it’s true!)  I didn’t want to fail my own mother and I realized what I had become: an alcoholic.  So I looked up at her and promised her I would never drink (heavily and until I was old enough) again.  I think it’s the fact that my mother told me to stop was what made me realize, because I was drinking over her.  Then I remember her giving me a hug and a kiss…

I shivered in the night air of the ocean as Gregor held me on the boardwalk.  I stood up and said, “I have to get home.”
Gregor asked, “You alright now?”
I explained the epiphany to him and he listened kindly.
As we walked along the shore I giggled and jumped into the ocean (hoping to rid myself of the horrible smell).  Gregor followed me in and laughed as I gargled the water.
“It’s good to hear you laugh again,” I smiled, taking it in.
He stepped closer to me and said, clutching my shoulders in a friendly way, “It’s good to see you smile again.”
Not another “epiphany” as much as just me realizing something.  I stepped even closer to him and inched towards his lips.  We kissed and he held me in his tight embrace and despite the water, the kiss was warm and gentle.  We inched apart from each other but he still held me, and I knew he was someone who wouldn’t hurt me.  “Oh my God, you’re bleeding!” I said scared.
He chuckled, “Actually that’s your lip bleeding.”  I had completely forgotten about it.  “What exactly did you do to get that?”
I blushed, “I saw Tammy there and she said you were stupid and a bad kisser so… I beat the crap out of her.”
“Do you think I’m a bad kisser?” Gregor asked with scared tone in his voice.  I just walked out on shore without him.  “That’s not right, Care, come on!” he called after me.
I grinned, “You want the honest truth?”
“Yes,” he said after catching up to me.
I took his hands in mine.  “I wish you had been my first kiss.”
“Me too,” he added seriously.
“You know, your accent really is hot.”
“Please tell me you won’t be like Tammy.  She is a slut.”
I joked, “Are you calling me a slut?!”
Nervously he said, “N-no, I just wanted-“
I laughed and pushed him into the sand.  He pulled me down on top of him and I said, “Maybe you’re the slut.”
As we kissed, the sun began to rise along the ocean.

Description
The charisma of Virginia Beach always made me feel so alive.  The warmth of the sun on my belly caused me to sigh involuntarily.  Life was great all those summers before we became juniors.  I had 2 friends: Andie Miller and Gregor O’Brien.  We all lived on the same street only a couple houses from each other.  Andie could be cynical and cocky sometimes, but she never meant harm to anyone.  She had perfectly shaped eyebrows over brown eyes and thin lips.  Her hair was a light brown and fell down to her shoulders.  I hung out with Gregor more though; he was my best friend.  Gregor was very outgoing and always had a smile on his face, showing off his teeth.  His blue eyes would gleam and his dark brown looked good no matter what he did with it.  He had only moved to Virginia Beach 3 years before; he used to live in Scotland.
I almost forgot!  My name is Caroline Wilkes.  I have blue-green eyes (like the ocean) and light brown hair.  I have two little sisters: Jana and Madison.  (Currently) I’m 17, Jana’s 14, and Maddie’s 13.
The summer after our junior year would change my life on so many levels.  It all started in mid-June after school ended (who keeps track of the days after that?).  After coming back from the beach that was right near our cottage/house, I ran to the side of our house with my boogie board to wash it later.  Inside the house, Maddie read a book and Jana tossed a ball up and down.  “How’re the waves today?” Jana asked, still focused on the ball.
“Not so hot,” I sighed.  “But it’s beautiful out!  Why are you two cooped up inside?”
“Cuz we wanna be,” Maddie mumbled, flipping a page in her book.
I chuckled, “Alright, whatever.”  I hopped in and out of the shower quickly and put on a robe.  As I was about to call Eric, Dad called out for me to get ready ASAP.  I threw on a tank top and bell bottoms and curiously ran out to the station wagon where my father was waiting.  “What’s up?”
“I think it’s time that I show you something,” he said solemnly.
This scared me to see my dad so sad, and all sorts of ideas flew through my head as I stepped into the old beat-up car.  We drove out over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel and I asked, “Where exactly are we going?”  He didn’t answer, so I turned the radio on to an old rock channel.
About two hours later, drool ran down the side of my chin and I stretched my arms out wide.  We pulled off an exit that stated “DeWitt”.  I tried to think if the name had any meaning, but couldn’t really think of anything.  The town was dull and dry.  There was dead grass everywhere and when I finally spotted healthy-looking grass, it was in a cemetery.  To my surprise, we pulled in to it.
Dad got out of the car without a word, gripping a bouquet of flowers loosely in his hands.  Ducks quacked pleasantly on a puddle of a pond in the front entrance adding an odd sense of happiness to the place.  We got to the middle of the cemetery and Dad stopped in front of a grave and placed the flowers down gently.  He patted me on my shoulder soothingly and started back towards the car.  I knelt before the grave and read it, quite confused:
Caroline May Wilkes
October 19th, 1963- April 18th, 1990
A beloved wife and mother
RIP

I ran back to the car and I saw my father fighting tears as we drove out of the town.  “Who was she?” I asked.  “She died on my birthday.  Was she like my grandma or something?”
“She…” he paused, almost dreading my reaction, “she was your mother.”
“But Mellissa, your wife, she is my mother.”
“Step-mother,” Dad corrected.
“But Jana and Mad-“
“Half sisters.”
Have you ever been told something drastic, and have it just not “click” in your head at that exact moment?  That’s what happened to me.  The whole car ride home I stared straight out my window and didn’t even speak or think; I just sat there blankly.  Once I sat on my bed back at the house it all suddenly hit me, what had really happened.  I picked up my phone and sighed as the other line rang.
“Hello?” smiled a familiar Scottish/English voice.
“It’s Care.”
“What’s up?  You sound quite depressed.”
“Meet me at the Dairy Queen on the boardwalk, just you,” I pleaded.
“Alright,” he answered concerned and hung up.  I got my blue bike out of the garage and biked halfway down the boardwalk until I saw Gregor waiting at one of the tables near the small Dairy Queen hut.  I leaned my bike against the table and he held a brownie blizzard out to me.  I accepted it graciously and sat across the table from him.
“I’ve never seen you look this sad,” Gregor frowned and looked to the setting sun across the ocean’s horizon.
“Mellissa’s not my mother,” I muttered.  “My mom is dead.”
“Wha-“
“My dad took me to her grave.  She died on my birthday, probably giving birth to me.  She was only 27.”  I shoved a spoonful of sweet brownie ice cream into my mouth, hoping it would ease me a little.
“I’m sorry,” he sympathized and moved his chair closer to mine.
“It all seems so simple, but the truth of it is just…”  I sighed, “Weird.”
Gregor smiled weakly, “It’ll be fine.  It’ll be great.”
“That’s the thing, I don’t know if it will.”
“You should go home and get some rest,” Gregor advised me pushing his hair to one side so it stuck up that way.  “It might do you some good.”
I nodded and rode my bike out on to the boardwalk.  “Hey Carrie!” someone called out to me.  I glanced behind me and saw a boy with big blue eyes and a gorgeous smile.
“Hey Peter,” I smiled at my classmate.  “What’s up?”
He caught up to me on his bike and sighed, “You look beautiful tonight.”
I blushed, “Thanks.”
“I miss seeing you in US History, and I was wondering if um…”  He laughed nervously, “If you wanted to go out some time.”
I beamed (it was the best “news” I had gotten all day), “Of course, Peter.”
“Awesome,” Peter sighed, relieved.  “Can I meet you here tomorrow at 6?”
“Yeah.”
“See ya then,” Peter waved goodbye as he veered off onto a different road.  For the slightest moment I forgot about my mother and I rode home and immediately in to my room.

My phone woke me up and I glanced at my clock: 7:30 am.  I groaned and answered the phone groggily, “Hello?”
“Come on, we’re heading out to the beach,” Andie said hurriedly.
“But it’s 7:30!”
“Stop wining and get your butt down there!”
I moaned and hung up the phone.  I tied my hair up messily into a bun and slipped on a swim suit and some clothes.  I ran to the side of the house and snatched my boogie board (still covered in mud).  At the beach the sun had just risen and Gregor and Andie laid out on towels gossiping about something.  “So why are we here so early?” I questioned throwing down my boogie board and laying a towel out next to Gregor.
“I was eager to get to the beach,” Andie shrugged.  I sighed and fell asleep on my towel.  A couple hours later I was woken up by Andie who whispered, “Slut alert.”
I gazed up and saw the local bimbo in a skimpy bathing suit: Tammy.  She… skipped over to us and Gregor gawked at her.  “Hey guys, what’s up?” Tammy giggled.  She thought she was great friends with us, but none of us wanted to have to do anything with her; the only problem was we didn’t want to hurt her feelings, and I’m surprised Andie hadn’t said anything.
“Not much,” Andie sighed.
Tammy knelt down in front of my towel and asked, “So what’s this I hear about you and Peter going out?”
Gregor raised an eyebrow slyly at me, “Peter Jenkins?”
“He asked me out last night, that’s all,” I tried to wave it off.
“You think you’ll be his girlfriend?” Tammy snorted.
“Why not?  He’s sweet.”
Tammy heaved a quick sigh, “But he’s out of your league.  He’s a soccer player, a hot one I might add.”
“Go for it, if you want to,” Gregor praised in his Scottish/English accent.
“OMG, you have an accent?!” Tammy gasped.
“You never noticed?” Andie rolled her eyes, almost expecting that.
“It’s really hot,” she said, practically hanging her mouth open.
“Thanks?” Gregor said, unsure.
I signaled to Andie to follow me out to the ocean.  We sat on the boogie boards in the still water watching Gregor and Tammy.  Tammy was sprawled out on my towel showing herself off to Gregor.  “Whore,” I muttered.
“Why do you care what Gregor does so much?” Andie questioned.
“She’ll give herself to any guy and I don’t want him to get hurt.  He’s our friend.”
Tammy rubbed her hand against his muscular bicep.
“Mmm,” she agreed.  “So you and Peter, huh?”  She nodded approvingly.  “So where’s he gonna take you?”
“I dunno.  He just said to meet him by the Dairy Queen.”
Tammy pressed herself up against Gregor, making him move back timidly.
“So Gregor’s getting a job,” Andie mentioned.
“Where?”
“He’s gonna be a model,” she answered.  “At least that’s what he told me.”
Tammy blew him a kiss and as she… bounced away, Gregor ran out to us.
“A model?” I smiled at him.
He shrugged with his cool grin.
Andie raised an eyebrow, “You’ve got lip gloss on your neck.”
He quickly dove under the water and laughed tensely as he came back up to the surface.
Andie mocked Tammy, “You’re accent’s really hot.”
“She asked me out tonight.”
“Am I the only person in this town who can’t get a date?!” Andie laughed and fell off the boogie board into the water.
“My accent is kinda cool, isn’t it?” Gregor grinned.
“Don’t let it get to your head,” I warned him.  “Just cuz you’re European doesn’t mean every hot girl will come bounding up with their mouths hanging open.”
Andie came up from under the water and glanced at her watch.  “I gotta get home.”
As she paddled out I called, “Why?!”
“Usual family week trip.  See ya guys in a week!”
“Did you tell her about-“
“No,” Gregor sighed.  “Not unless you want me to tell her, I can.”
“That’s okay.”  I looked up to the sky, “It’s weird to think that Jana and Maddie aren’t my real sisters.”
He nodded.
“And the person I’ve been calling “Mom” as long as I can remember, isn’t my mom.”  I shook my head, wanting to come out of the depressing subject.  “So where’re you guys going?”
“Mini-golf.”
“That’s it?” I asked, thinking there to be more to her plot.
“What else could happen?”
“Sure she isn’t taking you home with her?”
“I wouldn’t do that,” Gregor looked at me funny.
“But most guys would, and that’s what she’s used to.”
Gregor shook his head and sighed, “I don’t think so.”

I waited impatiently at the Dairy Queen for Peter to arrive.  I hoped this wasn’t some joke he and his stupid soccer friends would play on me.  Suddenly I saw him wave to me and he ran up to me.  He looked really hot in his faded jeans and T-shirt.  His eyes glowed blue and his hair was mussed up.  “So you wanna go play some mini-golf?” he asked with a smile.
“Sure,” I swallowed nervously.  I had never been on a date before, so it was a little nerve-racking to be with Peter.  We ran down a couple streets and to the small mini-golf place near the road.
“OMG, Carrie and Peter!” a familiar ditzy voice squealed.
“Hey guys,” Peter greeted Tammy and Gregor.
“What a coincidence,” I half-groaned.  I ogled Tammy’s outfit… or not outfit.  Her halter had no back and had just enough material to cover up her… stuff.  Her jean skirt just covered up her butt; she looked ultimately skanky.
“We should so double-date!” Tammy suggested.
Gregor shrugged, “I’m up for it.”
Peter grinned, “Why not?”
Tammy moaned, “I can never hold the golf club right.”
“Scotland was where golf was invented,” Gregor mentioned wisely.  “Let me help you.”  He took her hands from behind and I could see her smile, satisfied.  He helped her swing the putt which got a hole-in-one.  The game continued like this and afterwards we headed out to a small restaurant.
“You’re on the golf team, right Gregor?” Peter asked.
Gregor nodded and held his glass of Coke up, “O flower of Scotland.”
“Oh my God, that was so cute,” Tammy giggled and… bounced.
The waitress brought over our food and as Peter talked it up with Gregor and Tammy I quietly twirled spaghetti on my fork.  Gregor began to talk to Tammy and Peter turned to me.  “You look great tonight.”
“So do you,” I laughed honestly.
“Wanna go down to the beach after this?” he asked romantically.
I gulped (happily though), “Yeah.”
After dinner, Gregor and Tammy went to a club and Peter and I strolled down to the beach.  I rolled up my bell bottoms and pushed my feet into the cool night sand.  Peter did the same and sat to my right as we watched the sun set along the pinkish-orangish-purplish sky.  Peter leaned on his left arm and gazed into my eyes.  “You’re so beautiful and I will do anything to make you happy.”
I sighed at his romantic-ness and he softly grabbed the back of my head and kissed me.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked softly next to my ear.
“Yes,” I smiled and pulled him towards me for more.

The next day was rainy and dismal so I invited Gregor over to my house to hang out and watch some scary movies.  During the middle of “Jeepers Creepers” Gregor sat up from the long couch and asked, “So how was your date?”
“I have a boyfriend,” I nodded and leaned back further in my recliner.
“I’ve got a girlfriend,” Gregor smiled.
I looked at him like he was insane, “Tammy?  She’s-“
“Don’t say anything mean please.”
“So how far did you guys get?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, there are 4 bases like baseball for dating in America.  1st is French kissing, 2nd is feeling someone up… I hope you didn’t get any farther than that.”
The girl from the movie started screaming and for a slight moment we were hooked back into the movie.  “1st base,” Gregor mumbled (my guess is he was hoping I wouldn’t hear).  “And you?”
“Not even 1st.  Tammy likes to move fast, so watch out for that.”
Gregor argued with a grin on his face, “I’m not a baby, Care.  I can take care of myself, don’t worry.”
“She’s just been known to be a-“
“What did I say before, Care?!”
“Right, nothing mean,” I muttered stuffing my mouth with popcorn.
“What about Peter?  He seems a little absorbed in sports.”
“Whatever.  Sports can be fun.”
Gregor burst out laughing, “Says the girl who dreads gym class.”
“Shut up!” I giggled and threw some popcorn at him.

So a couple weeks passed and we did the same thing: hanging out at the beach with our significant others and having a good time.  (A side note: Andie found a really nice guy wherever she went on vacation with her family and they see each other from time to time.)  Life was great and I had seemed to forget about my mother and moved on with my life.  One day, after Peter and Tammy left for their houses (like usual) and it was just Andie, Gregor, and I, I noticed something.  “Is it just me, or has Peter seemed distant?” I asked worriedly.
“What do you mean?” Andie asked, slurping on a Cherry Coke.
“He isn’t hanging out with me as much as we used to.”
Gregor shrugged, “That’s normal.  Maybe he wants more time to spend with his friends.”
I nodded, “You’re probably right.”
Gregor yawned and stretched his arms out, glancing at his watch.  “I gotta get to work.”
“Big photo shoot?” Andie teased.
“I’ve become a Jean model.”  He added before leaving, “Not what I expected to be doing in America.”
I smiled, “I think I’ll give Peter a surprise visit at his house.  He didn’t say he was hanging out with “the guys” tonight.”
“Alright, man,” Andie grinned soaking up as much of the evening sun as she could.  “See ya later.”
I pushed off my bike and headed down to the other side of the boardwalk.  I soon came upon Peter’s white cottage and knocked on the blue front door.  No one answered, and that usually meant that Peter was home so I slipped inside and crept up to his door, wanting to surprise him.  When I opened his door, I think I was the one surprised.  Peter looked up at me, as well as Tammy, holding his bed sheets up.  “It’s not what you think, Carrie-“
I fought back tears and shouted, “We’re through!”  I directed my attention to Tammy, taking out my cell phone and snapping a picture of the two in bed.  “I’m sure Gregor’s through with you too.”
I burst out of his house and biked as hard and as fast as I could to the mall, forcing the tears back.  A secretary stopped me from going into a closed set (I guess you would call it) and asked, “May I see your pass?”
“I have a very urgent message for Gregor O’Brien,” I said, still managing to press the tears back.
“What relations are you with Gregor?”
“I’m his best friend, Caroline Wilkes.”  I pleaded, “Please, this is urgent.”
The woman sighed, “Fine.”  I slammed the door open and ran on to the “set” where Gregor modeled the jeans topless.  His photo shoot manager (I guess you would call him) said the usual “you’re doing great, now do this” stuff.
Gregor noticed me and asked permission to have a minute break.  He rushed over to me and questioned, “Care, what’s wrong?”
I flipped open my cell phone and flashed him the picture before falling into his arms sobbing.  “They cheated on the both of us,” I managed to say through heavy sobs.
Gregor didn’t say anything at first (I assume he was in slight shock), but soon he held me tight (in a friendly way) and cooed, “It’s alright, Care.”  He forced me to look him in the eye and he encouraged me, “So this was just one person.  You can’t let him control your life, you have to move on.  Show him and the world that you’re not gonna let some stupid boy get you down.”
“Gregor!” the manager called.  “We don’t have much more time.”
He sighed, “I’ve gotta keep working, but promise me that you’ll be alright.”
I nodded weakly and he gave me a friendly, comforting hug before I walked out the door.  For a while I meandered around the mall and my thoughts drifted back to my mother.  I felt as if no one loved me anymore, and mindlessly I drifted into a bar.  For 3 hours I sat in the bar, and I must have had 5 Rolling Rocks before flipping open my cell phone.  Everything was blurry, but I tried my best to find his number.  “Hello?” a sleepy voice yawned.
“Gregor, itsh me, Care,” I slurred.
“Are you drunk?!”
“I shink sho.”
“Where are you?” he asked frantically.
“Da bar in da mawll.”
“I’ll be there soon,” Gregor said before hanging up.
I rested my head on the table to get the headache to go away and as the waiter came by to clean up the bottles I asked for another beer.  As I sipped on the beer, Gregor came into the bar in boxers and a T-shirt.  “Wanna ship?” I asked him, holding out the bottle.
“I thought you said you were going to be alright!” he practically yelled.  “I thought you weren’t gonna let him bring you down.”
I slammed the bottle on the table and sobbed into my arm on the table.
Gregor sighed, “I’m sorry, I just can’t believe you of all people did this.”  He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and dragged his chair closer to mine.  “Phew!” he coughed.  “You reek of booze.  I always thought that would be me, considering I’m the Scottish one.”
I laughed a little but still cried, “No one lovesh me, Gregor.”
“That’s not true.  Your sisters and your father and your step-mother love you very much.”
“I mish her.”
“Who?”
I bawled, “I mish my mothzer.”
Gregor lifted my chin and said, “There’s nothing I can say to bring her back, but maybe you could find out more about her.”  He sighed, “I should get you home.”
I shook my head, “If my dad knowsh I’ve been drinkin’, I’m dead fo sures.”
“My parents are out of town on business.  You can stay there for a while but then I’ll have to take you home.”  That’s all I remember of that night.

I woke up in my own bed with the worst head ache I had ever had in my entire life.  My dad stood over me with his arms crossed and his brows furrowed.  “Okay you know,” I groaned.
“Yes, and you’re not going out anywhere without me or your mother for two weeks.”
I couldn’t help but sniffle and I turned to cry into my pillow.
“Crying is not going to get you out of Gregor bringing you home drunk!”
I looked Dad in the eye and asked, tears streaming down my cheeks, “How did she die?”
My father stepped back, almost shocked that that’s what I was crying about.  “Well her heart just shut down after she gave birth to you.”
I whimpered, “I know it sounds stupid because I never real knew her, but I miss her.”
Dad sat on the edge of my bed and sighed, “I miss her too, but we have to move on with our lives.  It’s the only way we can get through it.”  He got up and moved to my doorway.  “Your friends can’t come over either.”
I nodded, “It’s understood.”
He smiled weakly and I followed him out to the kitchen where I saw my step mother cooking eggs.
“Good morning… Mellissa,” I said, biting my lower lip to keep any more tears from coming.
Quietly she replied, “Good morning Caroline.”  She looked at me solemnly, almost as if to show me she felt my pain (though I doubted that very highly).
Jana and Maddie looked at me strangely.  I could tell they were ashamed I went out a got drunk but they still looked confused as to why I called their mother “Mellissa”.  I got up from the kitchen table and muttered, “I’m not all that hungry.  Can I just go sit in the living room?”
My father frowned, “Sure.”
I moved out to the living room couch and stared out the window, holding a tissue to my mouth.  I noticed the drawer on the small table next to the couch and carefully, I opened it.  In the back of all the baby pictures of me and my sisters I found a sepia photo crumpled and faded from all of the years it existed.  The girl in the photo looked exactly like me, and she had her arm around a younger version of my father.  My father was in a suit and she looked absolutely gorgeous in a long (what looked to be) red prom dress.
Mellissa startled me from behind, “Your mother and I were friends.”
“And you married her husband?” I scoffed.
“About three years after she died.  I know what it’s like to lose a mother.  My mother died when I was 13.”
I pointed out, “There’s a difference between you and me though: I never really knew my mother.  I thought you were my real mother for the longest time… all my life”
Mellissa nodded, “I guess you’re right.”  She stood up and said, “You can wallow in your own pain if you want, but I think it would make you feel better if you got up and did something and realize that your mother is still loving you and watching over you.”
“I’ve got to stay in here for two weeks,” I groaned and rubbed my temples.
“Not unless I take you somewhere,” she reminded me.  “Come on.  I’ll take you and your sisters to the beach.”  I barely smiled and folded the picture into my pocket.

I saw Andie and Gregor on the beach but I continued behind my sisters and step mom until we found a spot to sit a good distance away from them.  I lay my towel out in the sand and I rested my head in my arms.  I noticed my sisters put their towels a sort of long distance away from mine.  My step mother went in the water and left me with my sisters.  Eventually Jana said, “I’m ashamed to know you.”
“Yeah,” Maddie piped in.  “Why would you do that?”
I sighed, “Because I’m stupid and I can’t hold onto a guy and I don’t have a mother, okay?!”  I could feel my lip quiver as I rested my head back again.
“What do you mean “you don’t have a mother”?  She’s right out there!” Jana practically shouted.
“Mellissa’s my step mother.  My mother died giving birth to me!” I cried.  I flung myself off of my towel and ran down the beach, leaving my sisters speechless.  I could care less if I was disobeying my father’s orders; I needed to get away from it all.  I got back to my house and saw that Dad’s car was out; he was at work and that was my chance.  I swiped the keys from the counter and sped off onto the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel (I have my driver’s license).  I found my way to the town of DeWitt and asked a local how to get to the cemetery.  I ran to the bouquet of flowers and knelt over them, weeping.  “Mellissa says I should just move on with your death, but how can I?”  Nothing happened so I kissed the grave and drove back to Virginia Beach, to that same bar I was at before.  Gregor must have heard I was gone, and he rushed into the bar and spotted me instantly.
“Caroline!  What the hell are you doing here again?!”  He dropped his voice down low, “It’s illegal for you to be drinking, you know that!”
“I don’t wanna drink,” I said (I was still partially sober).  “What else can I do?!”
“Move on-“
“I’m tired of people telling me to move on.  It’s my mother, Gregor.”
“I’m tempted to check you into rehab,” he sighed.
“I wanna run away,” I pouted.  “I wanna run away and forget it all.”
Gregor explained, “You will never forget it, Care, and maybe you just need a good friend right now.”  He smiled, “Let me take you home and I’ll stay with you, ‘kay?”
I nodded and walked out with him onto the boardwalk.  “Can we go on the beach?”
“Why not?” he shrugged and I rolled up my pant legs and put my feet in the sand.
“This is where we went after our first date and he asked me to be his girlfriend.  I had my first kiss here, and if I could, I’d take it back.”
Gregor looked at me strangely, “Why’s that?”
“I guess I don’t want to think of him as my first, ya know?  I can’t believe he did that to me?”
“Well, Tammy did something to me too.”
I giggled, “You find that surprising?  Andie and I told you from the start she was a slut.”
“I can see why too.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“She’s very… pretty.”
I laughed and then asked seriously, “Why is it that guys cheat?”
“Why is it that girls cheat?  I wouldn’t know.”
“Me either I guess,” I sighed.
Gregor took me home and explained to my father that he wanted to watch me and make sure I stayed safe.  Dad agreed and let him stay up in my room, knowing he was just my friend.  After I slipped into my pajamas, I let Gregor in and stared at the picture of my mother.  Gregor glanced at it and asked, “Who’s that you’re with?”
“That’s my mother and father at their prom,” I heaved a sigh.
“You look just like her.”
“We share the same name too.”
“Get some rest,” he advised.  So I did.

“We’re moving today and I just wanted to tell her, Mr. Wilkes.”  I shot up out of my bed, hearing Andie say that from the other room.
By the time I got into the living room, Andie had already left.  “I suppose you heard Andie,” my dad mumbled while opening up a newspaper.
I stammered, “I-I-I can’t believe y-you…”  I ran back into my room and under my bed sheets.  Gregor lifted up the blankets and looked at me with sad, tired eyes.  “What time is it?” I asked.
He glanced at his watch.  “About 3 o’clock.  You needed a lot of sleep.”
I yawned, “I still do.”  I whimpered, “Did you know Andie was leaving today?”
“Andie’s gone?!”
“Yeah, she just left apparently.”
“Get some more rest,” he cooed.  So I did.

Gregor was basically passed out on the bean bag chair next to my bed.  I couldn’t stay cooped up like this forever.  I crept into my walk-in closet and dug around for an outfit.  I slipped on a halter top and low riding jeans (something I only wore when I wanted to feel really sexy).  I slunk past Gregor and out the window.
I made it to the center of town and found the club that Tammy used to talk about.  I paid the admission fee of 20 dollars and once I was inside, I ordered a beer.  After about 5 more beers Tammy joined me at my table.  “Hey, what’re you doing here?!” she giggled excitedly, as if I had never walked in on her and Peter.
I glared at her, “I felt like being here.”
“Are you still mad about the whole Peter thing?”
“No, I’m still mad about you hurting my best friend.”
“Gregory?”
“Gregor actually,” I scowled.
“You know I never intended to be with him anyway.  I mean he’s hot but he’s not a good kisser.”
“So you just used him for action?”
“Yeah and it was terrible action.  I guess that’s why I started with Peter.”
I couldn’t hold it back any longer.  Suddenly I leapt across the table and threw my fists in all directions.  I pulled at her hair and scratched her until a bouncer came behind me and threw me out of the club.  I landed against someone, moving them slightly backwards..  “I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly.  I looked up at the person and smiled meekly.
“Come with me,” Gregor instructed. He led me across the boardwalk and scolded, “Why do you keep doing this?”  He noticed, “Is that a cut on your lip?”
I touched my fingers to my lip and abruptly felt something rise in my throat.  I fell to the cement ground and coughed up all the beer I had drunk before.  I staggered for a minute before passing out in Gregor’s arms.

…I know people had been telling me to get over my mother’s death this whole time but as I lay unconscious in Gregor’s arms, you could say I had an epiphany.  It was a dream, and I think my mother came to me and told me that she was fine and safe in heaven, but she was scared for me.  (I know, it sounds like something a little kid would describe, but it’s true!)  I didn’t want to fail my own mother and I realized what I had become: an alcoholic.  So I looked up at her and promised her I would never drink (heavily and until I was old enough) again.  I think it’s the fact that my mother told me to stop was what made me realize, because I was drinking over her.  Then I remember her giving me a hug and a kiss…

I shivered in the night air of the ocean as Gregor held me on the boardwalk.  I stood up and said, “I have to get home.”
Gregor asked, “You alright now?”
I explained the epiphany to him and he listened kindly.
As we walked along the shore I giggled and jumped into the ocean (hoping to rid myself of the horrible smell).  Gregor followed me in and laughed as I gargled the water.
“It’s good to hear you laugh again,” I smiled, taking it in.
He stepped closer to me and said, clutching my shoulders in a friendly way, “It’s good to see you smile again.”
Not another “epiphany” as much as just me realizing something.  I stepped even closer to him and inched towards his lips.  We kissed and he held me in his tight embrace and despite the water, the kiss was warm and gentle.  We inched apart from each other but he still held me, and I knew he was someone who wouldn’t hurt me.  “Oh my God, you’re bleeding!” I said scared.
He chuckled, “Actually that’s your lip bleeding.”  I had completely forgotten about it.  “What exactly did you do to get that?”
I blushed, “I saw Tammy there and she said you were stupid and a bad kisser so… I beat the crap out of her.”
“Do you think I’m a bad kisser?” Gregor asked with scared tone in his voice.  I just walked out on shore without him.  “That’s not right, Care, come on!” he called after me.
I grinned, “You want the honest truth?”
“Yes,” he said after catching up to me.
I took his hands in mine.  “I wish you had been my first kiss.”
“Me too,” he added seriously.
“You know, your accent really is hot.”
“Please tell me you won’t be like Tammy.  She is a slut.”
I joked, “Are you calling me a slut?!”
Nervously he said, “N-no, I just wanted-“
I laughed and pushed him into the sand.  He pulled me down on top of him and I said, “Maybe you’re the slut.”
As we kissed, the sun began to rise along the ocean.