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wallabri — Miku
Published: 2009-05-19 05:32:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 1122; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 15
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Description
I AM THE BEST TITLE-ER EVER.
Anyway, I recently had a table at Otafest, the local anime convention. Seeings as I had little to sell at said table, the past few weeks have been spent making fanarty stuff to sell.
This one did decently- Miku Hatsune from Vocaloid
I still have a few prints of this left, if anyone is interested!
Art belongs to me
Miku belongs to... Whoever made Vocaloid I guess. o3o
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Comments: 16
Aye aye, cap'n.
Ah, critique. It's so nice to critique someone I like~
GOOD STUFF
First off, solid composition. Very clean line art - no messes, here. The color you chose for her skin is very animu-skin, but that's what we're doing here, isn't it? It's appropriate. Miku also has a decent character design. Good choice.
BACKGROUND
The background of rising/falling equalizers is really neat, but breaking it down into more deviations from 'teal' and randomizing it a bit (instead of A -> B gradient, a 'rough' gradient.) would have been a lot more visually interesting. Keep the variants light to keep from distracting the viewer from the figure. IMHO. Stuff like this is definitely opinion, but I think it's valid.
Incorporating some of that red tone into the equalizers might have been nice, too.
ANATOMY/LINE ART
The anatomy is pretty solid everywhere except the right hand, the neck, and the face. The face is a style issue, something I'll address in a moment - one could say the neck is as well, but the thin 'anime' neck on the relatively 'realistic' body looks absurd. The right hand has knuckle issues - the knuckles go across the hand in an arc from index, middle (the highest knuckle), and then down to the pinky finger. The angle of those fingers is also kind of strange - the second knuckles should be facing more towards the viewer given the hand's position, versus facing straight off to the right - 50% more towards the viewer would work out.
COLOR
The colors are all on model, but the shading feels really flat. Light and shadow seems to fall in random places. Where is your light source? Is it from the upper right-front of the image, sort of coming from above the right of the viewer, versus above the character?
I thought that, but then there are some things that don't cast shadows - her left arm casts one on the background, but not on the figure. If the light is that far forward, the highlights on the character's skin should also be closer to centered on the character, versus off to the right of the image. The tie doesn't cast much of a shadow. The little belt/fabric loop on her skirt casts a shadow on the background, but not on the skirt. Her skirt casts no shadow on the figure.
I could go on, but it's unnecessary - you get the point. It's just important to remember that figures cast shadows on themselves, not just on the things around them.
Her hair needs more lights and more darks, for depth. Animu hairs needs the shiny. All hair needs more shiny, at least a little bit.
It kind of looks like you highlighted with white on the black parts of the figure's costume. You probably know about that being a no-no. Having some cast light from other parts of the figure - for instance, those highlights might reflect some of the teal in her surroundings, or in her clothes - might have made that more palatable.
HEAD
You can easily argue that this is unfair - you might be right, this could really just be your taste. But her mouth isn't attractive. I know that upward tilt on her upper lip is meant to imply excitement and a certain degree of !dynamic head tilt action!, but it.
It kind of looks like she has a harelip. IMHO. Post-surgery.
MISCELLANEOUS
There's a few other silly little line art issues - the tie curves in a very flat way - a twist in the fabric would seem more likely, versus this 90 degree turn. The way the skirt is shaded makes it also seem flat.
More detail in the line art for the hair would have been stylistically appropriate. This is animus, after all. All animus but children's animu love fancy hair on long-haired ladies. As it stands, it is visually uninteresting. I think it would be hard to get hair to just stay in a mass the way hers does. I used to have that problem really bad - I'm still kind of working through it, myself. It's hard to make hair look soft and flowing. It always has been for me, anyway.
The way you made the right sleeve fold around her elbow is very considerate and thorough, though the sleeve opening looks a bit flat and kind of takes the illusion of depth away from that forearm.
Good luck~
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YESSS! I was so hoping you'd look at some of this stuff I'm uploading WTP.
Thank you so much for such a great, in-depth crit, I really appreciate it, and I agree with basically everything you said, especially on tones and shading- I know criminally little about these things, so every bit of advice helps a ton.
(And that mouth. Ohhh that mouth- I wanted to change it but just ended up running out of time before I needed to send it to be printed. D< )
Thanks again WTP! If I have time, I may try and go back to fix up this piece, since it is one that I liked overall, and I want to try to implement your crits! (:
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Thanks. I won't be hurt if you don't implement any of it (I know how it is - a lot of the time you just learn from it and move on because it's not worth going and working over), but I would be pretty flattered if you did.
Good luck~
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If you're wondering, vocaloid was created by yamaha.
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jsdhljh. Well that's gorgeous.
Now you're just making me feel bad about myself. 8|
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One of these days, one of these days!
I SHALL STRIIIIIVE!
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I had a couple thoughts of actually buying this print, though I have no where to put her in my room
[was the Miku Hatsune at Otafest, the one with the jade green pigtails]
Me likey!
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Aw, no worries! Thank you for favin' here anyway! 8)
And I remember that cosplay, very cute!
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