HOME | DD

Description
So...

It's been around 30 days without you, if I counted correctly.
I miss the random phone calls, though I do regret not talking more during them... sorry about that.

Mom got our house blessed recently.
She even put some holy water in my bedroom to "make things better", Papa prayed for us too.
I thought that it was gonna make things feel way better then they did before, but nope. It got worse for some reason.

Things have been rough for us.
I'm coping, but it's really hard.
It's so hard seeing photos of you.
I've been trying to be tough for you, since I know that it's what you would want, but I can't.
Your favourite blanket is always on my bed, I sleep with it alot. Sometimes I just sob and hold it because it helps knowing that you used it too.
I even stole your pillow too, haha.

I really miss you... nothing feels right.
Ever since you left us, I've been getting these really bad aches in my chest.
It usually aches really bad whenever I think of you or see a picture.
It just feels really heavy, so I just stop and I close my eyes, then I take deep slow breaths... They kind of help.

I promise I'll come see you one of these days, but I just don't think I'm ready right now.
Also, Fathers Day is coming up after next month...
It's going to hurt, but I'll try to see you, just like the last time I saw you.

Theres alot of things I should've done for you, but now I can't.
I also regret alot of things, but at the same time, I don't...? its weird, I don't know...

I think that.. that I'm only coping, because I convince myself that you're always with me?
Like that one time I felt someone standing behind me, but everybody was asleep... I really do believe that it was you.
Or the day before yesterday.
I was watching your videos of you singing and looking at pictures, I was crying so hard.. then something happened to the computer screen.. haha, it's probably just a coincidence, but I like to believe that it's you doing alot of things, even if its not. It makes me feel better.

I really, really hope that you come and see me again soon... it's all that I've been hoping for lately.
Even just dreaming of you would help, but no matter how much I think of you, you never show up.

I miss you alot, Dad.
But now, nobody could hurt you ever again.
I promise that I'm not mad at you for what you did, okay?
I can't wait for us to meet again. We love you so much.

Description
So...

It's been around 30 days without you, if I counted correctly.
I miss the random phone calls, though I do regret not talking more during them... sorry about that.

Mom got our house blessed recently.
She even put some holy water in my bedroom to "make things better", Papa prayed for us too.
I thought that it was gonna make things feel way better then they did before, but nope. It got worse for some reason.

Things have been rough for us.
I'm coping, but it's really hard.
It's so hard seeing photos of you.
I've been trying to be tough for you, since I know that it's what you would want, but I can't.
Your favourite blanket is always on my bed, I sleep with it alot. Sometimes I just sob and hold it because it helps knowing that you used it too.
I even stole your pillow too, haha.

I really miss you... nothing feels right.
Ever since you left us, I've been getting these really bad aches in my chest.
It usually aches really bad whenever I think of you or see a picture.
It just feels really heavy, so I just stop and I close my eyes, then I take deep slow breaths... They kind of help.

I promise I'll come see you one of these days, but I just don't think I'm ready right now.
Also, Fathers Day is coming up after next month...
It's going to hurt, but I'll try to see you, just like the last time I saw you.

Theres alot of things I should've done for you, but now I can't.
I also regret alot of things, but at the same time, I don't...? its weird, I don't know...

I think that.. that I'm only coping, because I convince myself that you're always with me?
Like that one time I felt someone standing behind me, but everybody was asleep... I really do believe that it was you.
Or the day before yesterday.
I was watching your videos of you singing and looking at pictures, I was crying so hard.. then something happened to the computer screen.. haha, it's probably just a coincidence, but I like to believe that it's you doing alot of things, even if its not. It makes me feel better.

I really, really hope that you come and see me again soon... it's all that I've been hoping for lately.
Even just dreaming of you would help, but no matter how much I think of you, you never show up.

I miss you alot, Dad.
But now, nobody could hurt you ever again.
I promise that I'm not mad at you for what you did, okay?
I can't wait for us to meet again. We love you so much.