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Description
How Could I Ever Doubt

(The following is a true story.)

How could I ever doubt?  I fight doubt constantly but in many ways I wonder to myself why?  I ask myself this because of something that happened to me in 1995.  Although I guess I should start from the beginning: I lost my dad in November of 1992 and in my senior year of high school the only thing that mattered to me was my family.
However for some unknown reason that year a freshman decided he was going to fight me but would never attempt to do anything unless he had at least 6 friends with him.  So one day it came to blows and I put him on the floor hard.  After that he would tell me every day how he was going to beat the crap out of me and honestly it felt like a game to me...something to look forward to.
Although this changed very quickly the day he told me he had found out where I lived and he was coming after me and my family.  At that moment I felt something physically snap inside my body and I couldn't tell you the expression that gripped my face...and honestly I don't want to know because he turned as white as a ghost and ran for his life.  But my mind was made up; I decided to kill that boy and nothing was going to stop me from taking his life.
Later that night I was driving my mom to church and I explained to her what had happened and what I was planning to do.  I told her I was going to school the next day, I was going to tear his throat out and wash the school in his blood.  She knew I was dead serious and she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Stephen don't you pray about that first!"
That was the last thing I wanted to hear.  I didn't want to pray...but at that moment only three words would form on my lips.  "God help me!"  I was driving through an S-curve when I spoke those words and the moment they left my mouth; time stopped.  Everything around me was in shades of grey but I was still in color and then I got to watch a show.  I saw myself go to school the next day where I killed that boy and two others before I was stopped.  Then I got to watch my life in prison and it was a hellish nightmare I can’t begin to describe.  After I saw those events I found myself back in the car again, everything went from grey to color and time restarted.  I simply looked at mom and said, "Don't worry it's taken care of."
The following day I went to school and when I encountered that young man I looked him in the eye and said, “You’re not worth it.”  God intervened in my life and I was literally witness to a supernatural miracle that science cannot explain...and yet there are times I still doubt.  How can I when I've witnessed God's awesome power first hand?  My only answer is that I’m just a very flawed man.  But I can attest to this; we serve an awesome and all powerful God who loves us very much and He is there to help us through all of life’s trials.

John 3: 14-17 “And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”

Description
How Could I Ever Doubt

(The following is a true story.)

How could I ever doubt?  I fight doubt constantly but in many ways I wonder to myself why?  I ask myself this because of something that happened to me in 1995.  Although I guess I should start from the beginning: I lost my dad in November of 1992 and in my senior year of high school the only thing that mattered to me was my family.
However for some unknown reason that year a freshman decided he was going to fight me but would never attempt to do anything unless he had at least 6 friends with him.  So one day it came to blows and I put him on the floor hard.  After that he would tell me every day how he was going to beat the crap out of me and honestly it felt like a game to me...something to look forward to.
Although this changed very quickly the day he told me he had found out where I lived and he was coming after me and my family.  At that moment I felt something physically snap inside my body and I couldn't tell you the expression that gripped my face...and honestly I don't want to know because he turned as white as a ghost and ran for his life.  But my mind was made up; I decided to kill that boy and nothing was going to stop me from taking his life.
Later that night I was driving my mom to church and I explained to her what had happened and what I was planning to do.  I told her I was going to school the next day, I was going to tear his throat out and wash the school in his blood.  She knew I was dead serious and she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Stephen don't you pray about that first!"
That was the last thing I wanted to hear.  I didn't want to pray...but at that moment only three words would form on my lips.  "God help me!"  I was driving through an S-curve when I spoke those words and the moment they left my mouth; time stopped.  Everything around me was in shades of grey but I was still in color and then I got to watch a show.  I saw myself go to school the next day where I killed that boy and two others before I was stopped.  Then I got to watch my life in prison and it was a hellish nightmare I can’t begin to describe.  After I saw those events I found myself back in the car again, everything went from grey to color and time restarted.  I simply looked at mom and said, "Don't worry it's taken care of."
The following day I went to school and when I encountered that young man I looked him in the eye and said, “You’re not worth it.”  God intervened in my life and I was literally witness to a supernatural miracle that science cannot explain...and yet there are times I still doubt.  How can I when I've witnessed God's awesome power first hand?  My only answer is that I’m just a very flawed man.  But I can attest to this; we serve an awesome and all powerful God who loves us very much and He is there to help us through all of life’s trials.

John 3: 14-17 “And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”