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Description
I stand alone and before the throne of The Most High. I am bathed in a light that I cannot look upon directly. Even with my eyes closed and looking away, I cannot stand it. It is too glorious and I fall to my knees in fear and in admiration. My whole being, straight to my very soul, quivers like a leaf in a gale. I cannot control myself and tears fall from my eyes like a trickling brook. I sob and place my hands on the ground, bowing my head and trying my best not to look upon the majesty that sits upon the throne. My God. My Lord. My Creator…is before me. He is looking at me. And I am ashamed of what He sees.
Who am I to Him that breathed life into all things, that spoke galaxies into existence, and knew my name before I was even a spec in the eyes of my family. I am naked before him, bare and exposed to He who sees all things, yet I am not cold…but contently warm. I feel waves of intense glory wash over me like a coastal gale. I dare to open my eyes slightly and look…and the light is magnificent. I dare not even use words to describe what I see, as they would be pale in comparison to what is before me.
And then…He speaks to me.
Air in my lungs is knocked from me at the feel of His voice. I feel the voice that spoke merely a word and created all things. The breathe that gave me life is now washing over me, and it is like I am alive a new! It takes me a moment to even begin to comprehend His words to me, as I am in such awe and fear of His beautiful and glorious power.

“Ask what you will of Me, My child, and I shall answer you.”

His words were honey to my ears and warmth to my veins. I could ask Him whatever I wanted. I had the chance to speak my mind before my Father and my Lord. But what to say to Him? What questions, statements, or stories could be told to He that knows all and tells all? Where do I even begin with this chance that so few have come to see and talk about? What do you ask the Lord of all Creation? I stay on my knees shaking and crying like a frightened babe…helpless and frail before Him. At last, I dare to speak, but my voice is as tiny as the smallest mouse’s cry.

“Lord…I am overwhelmed by You. I do not know what to say to You, and yet I know everything I wish to ask of You.” I replied. He smiles at me and I am reduced to tears again. I at least speak my mind. “My God, I want to know one thing. Why did You create me!? I so often feel like I am nothing. I feel like I do not belong and I do not know where I am going! I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way either. So many walk aimlessly through life without knowing what to do with themselves or what they are meant to do! I am so frightened, My God, that I will never know my purpose in life. I am frightened that I am truly meaningless and that…that I will live an empty life. My God, please…please tell me what you would have me do with my life! Tell me there is purpose in my life!”
The silence I heard was deafening and I dared not look upon The Lord for fear that He would blind me with His brilliance.

“Of course your life has purpose, Cliff.” He said to me. I let out a gasp. His words bathed me in burning joy. “Perhaps you do not know it yet, My child…but that does not mean you will not understand in time. Do the cows understand why they are milked? Do the birds know why they were created to fly and not the fish in the sea? Does the wind know what it blows? No, they do not, and this is as it should be with My children. To you, My plans and methods may be strange and unfamiliar, but My ways are not yours.”
“But I want to understand!” I replied, daring to speak once more, though my heart and sense told me to be silent. “I long to know you more, my God!”
“Yes, I know…as do all of My children.” His voice was firm, but no more as soft. I was enraptured by it, and I would not interrupt. I would hear every breathe from His lips. “But were I so easily predictable, then I would not be Lord of Creation. Truly, if the creation could comprehend the Creator and His designs, then the creation would be equal to its Creator.”
“Forgive me please!” I cried, falling on my face, begging in my very soul for him to stay his hand from me. Surely I had angered him with my ignorance. “I know I am not Your equal! I am sorry!”
“My child, Cliff Corbett...do not be afraid.” His words changed to a command! It was soft and sweet, but it was also an order! I felt the shaking in my bones subside and I dared to rise a little off my face and only onto my knees. “I am not angry at you for speaking your mind, as it is yours to speak as you wish. I know your heart, My child. I always have.”
“Y-yes Lord!”
“You fear that your life is of no consequence, and that in time you shall fade out of the memory of all the ones that you love. You also fear that, because of love come and love lost, you do not truly matter to anyone, and thus you are destined to a life of solitude.” Bowing my head in shame, I nodded. He was right of course. That was indeed my greatest fear. I didn’t want to die without feeling like I had made a difference. “This is why you admire superheroes and fantasy stories, where you can write and create a world that is all your own. Where your words hold merit, and the life you desire can be fulfilled.”
“Yes…yes, my Lord.” He smiled at me again, and I looked away, feeling the weight of his gaze that made me weightless.
“I am a writer, too, Cliff. And I am, at this moment, writing your story.” I turned my glance back to the One that is Holy. He spoke again when He knew that I was looking upon Him. “It is a story of growth. Of love and of loss. Of trial and of error. Of peace…and of conflict. A story filled with such discoveries, adventures, and experiences, that not even you could write in your wildest dreams. And truly, the stories I write do become reality.”
“Then, my Lord…what happens next in my story?” The Lord laughed a long and beautiful sound that made even the majesty of the mountains and the roar of the sea sound like weakened crickets drowned in a gale.
“You cannot know that, My child. I would tell you, but you would not understand…and would not be ready. Your eyes are not My eyes to see the path I lay for you. Your ways and understandings are not Mine to comprehend the whole canvas…the whole story that I am writing. Besides…as you well know, nobody likes a spoiled ending.” I found myself laughing, laughing with merriment with my Lord. I was happy. My heart sang His praises and my mind was filled with his voice. He was right, as He always was. I did not know my story and what came next, but I didn’t need to. Though I might want to with all my heart, I was not ready for that. My God knew this, which was why he withheld it from me. How wise and awesome is my God?
“Go My child, and know that I am by your side always. As long as you walk the path that I show you…that I lead you upon, then you shall discover your purpose in time. And one day, you and I shall be reunited for all eternity…and all these things shall be made clear to you. When that day comes, you will understand.” I was pleased…no I was so happy that I could simply burst. This was the news that I’d always known and yet needed to hear all over again. How vital it was for me to hear these things from my Lord…how I had needed to know hear it from His mouth. Perhaps in this way, it meant that much more to me.

“My Lord…may I ask just one more question?”
“Quickly.” He replied with a chuckle, knowing exactly what I meant to ask Him.

“Does Death…really have a diary?”

Description
I stand alone and before the throne of The Most High. I am bathed in a light that I cannot look upon directly. Even with my eyes closed and looking away, I cannot stand it. It is too glorious and I fall to my knees in fear and in admiration. My whole being, straight to my very soul, quivers like a leaf in a gale. I cannot control myself and tears fall from my eyes like a trickling brook. I sob and place my hands on the ground, bowing my head and trying my best not to look upon the majesty that sits upon the throne. My God. My Lord. My Creator…is before me. He is looking at me. And I am ashamed of what He sees.
Who am I to Him that breathed life into all things, that spoke galaxies into existence, and knew my name before I was even a spec in the eyes of my family. I am naked before him, bare and exposed to He who sees all things, yet I am not cold…but contently warm. I feel waves of intense glory wash over me like a coastal gale. I dare to open my eyes slightly and look…and the light is magnificent. I dare not even use words to describe what I see, as they would be pale in comparison to what is before me.
And then…He speaks to me.
Air in my lungs is knocked from me at the feel of His voice. I feel the voice that spoke merely a word and created all things. The breathe that gave me life is now washing over me, and it is like I am alive a new! It takes me a moment to even begin to comprehend His words to me, as I am in such awe and fear of His beautiful and glorious power.

“Ask what you will of Me, My child, and I shall answer you.”

His words were honey to my ears and warmth to my veins. I could ask Him whatever I wanted. I had the chance to speak my mind before my Father and my Lord. But what to say to Him? What questions, statements, or stories could be told to He that knows all and tells all? Where do I even begin with this chance that so few have come to see and talk about? What do you ask the Lord of all Creation? I stay on my knees shaking and crying like a frightened babe…helpless and frail before Him. At last, I dare to speak, but my voice is as tiny as the smallest mouse’s cry.

“Lord…I am overwhelmed by You. I do not know what to say to You, and yet I know everything I wish to ask of You.” I replied. He smiles at me and I am reduced to tears again. I at least speak my mind. “My God, I want to know one thing. Why did You create me!? I so often feel like I am nothing. I feel like I do not belong and I do not know where I am going! I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way either. So many walk aimlessly through life without knowing what to do with themselves or what they are meant to do! I am so frightened, My God, that I will never know my purpose in life. I am frightened that I am truly meaningless and that…that I will live an empty life. My God, please…please tell me what you would have me do with my life! Tell me there is purpose in my life!”
The silence I heard was deafening and I dared not look upon The Lord for fear that He would blind me with His brilliance.

“Of course your life has purpose, Cliff.” He said to me. I let out a gasp. His words bathed me in burning joy. “Perhaps you do not know it yet, My child…but that does not mean you will not understand in time. Do the cows understand why they are milked? Do the birds know why they were created to fly and not the fish in the sea? Does the wind know what it blows? No, they do not, and this is as it should be with My children. To you, My plans and methods may be strange and unfamiliar, but My ways are not yours.”
“But I want to understand!” I replied, daring to speak once more, though my heart and sense told me to be silent. “I long to know you more, my God!”
“Yes, I know…as do all of My children.” His voice was firm, but no more as soft. I was enraptured by it, and I would not interrupt. I would hear every breathe from His lips. “But were I so easily predictable, then I would not be Lord of Creation. Truly, if the creation could comprehend the Creator and His designs, then the creation would be equal to its Creator.”
“Forgive me please!” I cried, falling on my face, begging in my very soul for him to stay his hand from me. Surely I had angered him with my ignorance. “I know I am not Your equal! I am sorry!”
“My child, Cliff Corbett...do not be afraid.” His words changed to a command! It was soft and sweet, but it was also an order! I felt the shaking in my bones subside and I dared to rise a little off my face and only onto my knees. “I am not angry at you for speaking your mind, as it is yours to speak as you wish. I know your heart, My child. I always have.”
“Y-yes Lord!”
“You fear that your life is of no consequence, and that in time you shall fade out of the memory of all the ones that you love. You also fear that, because of love come and love lost, you do not truly matter to anyone, and thus you are destined to a life of solitude.” Bowing my head in shame, I nodded. He was right of course. That was indeed my greatest fear. I didn’t want to die without feeling like I had made a difference. “This is why you admire superheroes and fantasy stories, where you can write and create a world that is all your own. Where your words hold merit, and the life you desire can be fulfilled.”
“Yes…yes, my Lord.” He smiled at me again, and I looked away, feeling the weight of his gaze that made me weightless.
“I am a writer, too, Cliff. And I am, at this moment, writing your story.” I turned my glance back to the One that is Holy. He spoke again when He knew that I was looking upon Him. “It is a story of growth. Of love and of loss. Of trial and of error. Of peace…and of conflict. A story filled with such discoveries, adventures, and experiences, that not even you could write in your wildest dreams. And truly, the stories I write do become reality.”
“Then, my Lord…what happens next in my story?” The Lord laughed a long and beautiful sound that made even the majesty of the mountains and the roar of the sea sound like weakened crickets drowned in a gale.
“You cannot know that, My child. I would tell you, but you would not understand…and would not be ready. Your eyes are not My eyes to see the path I lay for you. Your ways and understandings are not Mine to comprehend the whole canvas…the whole story that I am writing. Besides…as you well know, nobody likes a spoiled ending.” I found myself laughing, laughing with merriment with my Lord. I was happy. My heart sang His praises and my mind was filled with his voice. He was right, as He always was. I did not know my story and what came next, but I didn’t need to. Though I might want to with all my heart, I was not ready for that. My God knew this, which was why he withheld it from me. How wise and awesome is my God?
“Go My child, and know that I am by your side always. As long as you walk the path that I show you…that I lead you upon, then you shall discover your purpose in time. And one day, you and I shall be reunited for all eternity…and all these things shall be made clear to you. When that day comes, you will understand.” I was pleased…no I was so happy that I could simply burst. This was the news that I’d always known and yet needed to hear all over again. How vital it was for me to hear these things from my Lord…how I had needed to know hear it from His mouth. Perhaps in this way, it meant that much more to me.

“My Lord…may I ask just one more question?”
“Quickly.” He replied with a chuckle, knowing exactly what I meant to ask Him.

“Does Death…really have a diary?”