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Description
What is this is about?
This piece was created for the following contest [link]

FYI, it's the Yellow Ribbon contest, in support mental health, particularly in cases of teen suicide prevention and PTSD (war vets).

It's a photography contest, and the theme is as above, and also, anything yellow.

Edit (22 Nov, 2007): Third place! And an honourable mention [link]

Thanks, everyone, for your encouragement to join, and for actually liking this piece. I also appreciate you taking the time to read the following

Why is this important to me?
I know what it's like; simple as that. I've been living with depression for some time now. It's a lifelong thing, and I'm not going to delude myself that it is going to go away, or that it's cool, or that there's something really wrong with me. It just is. And I've got to learn how to live with it.

I can't, in all honesty, come out and say "suicide is bad, don't do it, you idiot", because that's not the way things work, and it's too simplistic, and jingoistic for my taste. I know why people would want to do it, and I respect that they made a decision (but don't get me wrong, there's no dignity in having made that choice).

But all the same, think about it, have you spoken to everyone you could have spoken to? Have you done everything you could have done? Have you actually experienced everything, the good and the bad? Have you visited the Yellow Ribbon site for international suicide prevention?

I believe that inside everyone, there's a big person waiting to come out. But big hearts find it hard to survive in a small, small shallow world such at this one. Big hearts see things. They see the beauty, they see depth, they see pain. Superimpose this on a candy coated dioxin, and tell me where there's no conflict. There will always be this conflict.

But suffering is part of being human, and I'd sooner live a life of pain and knowing, than one of bright lights and candy floss. Because this way, when I look into the shadowed eyes of someone else, I know where they've been. And I can say that I get it. And then they wouldn't have to be alone anymore. I wouldn't have to be alone.

All the same, I wish that people wouldn't have to suffer that way. Someone I love dearly suffers from PTSD. And I remember once, he looked at me, or he rather, looked into his past, with utter fear in his eyes, and damnit! That brief moment in time made me want to reach into that memory, and erase it all, and do a whole lot of violent things, to violent people.

But I can't do that, and I'm not like that. So hugs, and words of comfort, and tears will have to do. If I can't erase that, then I want to write over it with happy memories and thoughts. And if there's anything I can do, to make my life worthwhile on this shallow earth, it would be that; making somebody else's life worth living.

I've prattled on with more than I should have, I think, but there you go.

What's with the Phoenix?
It really isn't done, to explain photos, but in this case, I guess I should elaborate on some of the symbolism.

The reason I chose the Phoenix is pretty much obvious, methinks, for anyone who knows the myths. It speaks of the cycle of birth, to health, death, and resurrection. From ashes, to ashes, only to rise again. Anyone who's lived with mental health issues would know what this is like; with everything a constant struggle, but some days better than most.

And I used origami because whenever my brain is too noisy or too blah to do anything else, it helps me to work with my hands. Plus it gives a sort of innocence to the whole scene. The flat origami piece speaks of the potential in every person, and that it takes quite a bit of folding and painful squishing to actually get something out of it.

I had the help of an 11 watt light bulb to illuminate the image (it was night when I did it). I rather like the way the Phoenix rises upwards, heading towards the light, towards something better.

My thanks
My thanks for reading all the way to this part.

And also, the lot of you who d this piece and gave your views, my deepest appreciation. It means a lot to me

Description
What is this is about?
This piece was created for the following contest [link]

FYI, it's the Yellow Ribbon contest, in support mental health, particularly in cases of teen suicide prevention and PTSD (war vets).

It's a photography contest, and the theme is as above, and also, anything yellow.

Edit (22 Nov, 2007): Third place! And an honourable mention [link]

Thanks, everyone, for your encouragement to join, and for actually liking this piece. I also appreciate you taking the time to read the following

Why is this important to me?
I know what it's like; simple as that. I've been living with depression for some time now. It's a lifelong thing, and I'm not going to delude myself that it is going to go away, or that it's cool, or that there's something really wrong with me. It just is. And I've got to learn how to live with it.

I can't, in all honesty, come out and say "suicide is bad, don't do it, you idiot", because that's not the way things work, and it's too simplistic, and jingoistic for my taste. I know why people would want to do it, and I respect that they made a decision (but don't get me wrong, there's no dignity in having made that choice).

But all the same, think about it, have you spoken to everyone you could have spoken to? Have you done everything you could have done? Have you actually experienced everything, the good and the bad? Have you visited the Yellow Ribbon site for international suicide prevention?

I believe that inside everyone, there's a big person waiting to come out. But big hearts find it hard to survive in a small, small shallow world such at this one. Big hearts see things. They see the beauty, they see depth, they see pain. Superimpose this on a candy coated dioxin, and tell me where there's no conflict. There will always be this conflict.

But suffering is part of being human, and I'd sooner live a life of pain and knowing, than one of bright lights and candy floss. Because this way, when I look into the shadowed eyes of someone else, I know where they've been. And I can say that I get it. And then they wouldn't have to be alone anymore. I wouldn't have to be alone.

All the same, I wish that people wouldn't have to suffer that way. Someone I love dearly suffers from PTSD. And I remember once, he looked at me, or he rather, looked into his past, with utter fear in his eyes, and damnit! That brief moment in time made me want to reach into that memory, and erase it all, and do a whole lot of violent things, to violent people.

But I can't do that, and I'm not like that. So hugs, and words of comfort, and tears will have to do. If I can't erase that, then I want to write over it with happy memories and thoughts. And if there's anything I can do, to make my life worthwhile on this shallow earth, it would be that; making somebody else's life worth living.

I've prattled on with more than I should have, I think, but there you go.

What's with the Phoenix?
It really isn't done, to explain photos, but in this case, I guess I should elaborate on some of the symbolism.

The reason I chose the Phoenix is pretty much obvious, methinks, for anyone who knows the myths. It speaks of the cycle of birth, to health, death, and resurrection. From ashes, to ashes, only to rise again. Anyone who's lived with mental health issues would know what this is like; with everything a constant struggle, but some days better than most.

And I used origami because whenever my brain is too noisy or too blah to do anything else, it helps me to work with my hands. Plus it gives a sort of innocence to the whole scene. The flat origami piece speaks of the potential in every person, and that it takes quite a bit of folding and painful squishing to actually get something out of it.

I had the help of an 11 watt light bulb to illuminate the image (it was night when I did it). I rather like the way the Phoenix rises upwards, heading towards the light, towards something better.

My thanks
My thanks for reading all the way to this part.

And also, the lot of you who d this piece and gave your views, my deepest appreciation. It means a lot to me