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Description

“I have you now, my pretty!” cackled Lord Licorice as he observed the beautiful princess in chains, twirling his moustache.

“Oh, this is so stereotypical it’s pathetic!” shouted Princess Lolly. “Seriously? Kidnap the princess, twirl your moustache while calling her pretty? Just get to the part where you demand that I marry you and get it over with!”

“Well, if you’re suggesting….” Lord Licorice said with a leer. “Hershey! Cadbury! Release her!” The two chocolate bats undid the chains keeping Lolly prisoner.

“And let me guess,” Lolly said with a roll of her eyes. “You’re now going to tell your bats to bathe me and bring me to you.”

“Bats aren’t terribly good at the whole bathing thing, actually.” Licorice said with a shrug. “Truth is, Lolly dearest, that I’ve been worried about you. Ever since your father disappeared and your silly mother entrusted mere children with the task of finding him, I’ve worried how you fared. That’s why I sent my bats to bring you here for your safety. I do apologize if they were too rough with you. I assure you, I myself will treat you with all the respect due a princess. Perhaps, I can even get you to be more than a princess. Together, we can overthrow your foolish mother and put you on the throne! How does ‘Queen Lolly’ sound?”

“I don’t know what I’m more offended by!” Lolly scoffed. “Your gaslighting of me or your insults to my mother!”

“Well, she’s not doing too good of a job if she let you get captured.” Licorice said. “And I don’t expect to see anyone running to your rescue. That ‘warm heart’ Frostine is so proud of grows cold where her own daughter is involved.”

“The good of the kingdom comes first.” Lolly said primly. “Before even family. I’ve accepted this axiom since childhood. The Cost of the Crown my parents called it.”

“Well, Lolly,” Licorice said with a smile. “If that’s the case, perhaps you’ll prefer nobility to royalty. I’ll treat you very well as a guest in my castle. Make yourself at home, my dear. I only care about your safety and comfort. Perhaps I can even have a lollipop forest built on my grounds if that would make you happy.”

“If you’re hoping that Stockholm Syndrome will set in, you’ve got another thing coming.” Lolly told him. “Forget it, Lickers. We are not happening.”

“Well then, you leave me no choice.” Licorice sighed. “Mars, chow down!”

One of the bats darted at Lolly’s neck and bit down. Lolly tried to scream in pain but found her throat constricting so that not a sound came out. A wave of dizziness overtook her and she collapsed. Lord Licorice cackled gleefully.

“You see, Lolly, my dear.” said Licorice. “Mars here is, or was, a vampire. Thought he was tough. Named himself after a war god. While a proud warrior, Mars didn’t study magic as closely as he should, and long story short, he is stuck in bat form and under my control. Most of my bats eat bugs or fruit, but having a vampire on call has proved useful.”

Licorice knelt down to Lolly’s level. “You will sleep now, dearest.” He said gently. “And when you wake, you will be Lady Licorice, my faithful, dutiful bride. You’ll never see the light of day again, but you won’t care as long as you have me as your beloved husband. And I promise you, your first bloodmeal will be from the neck of your own mother!” Lord Licorice cackled in glee.

He scooped up the princess in his arms. “Ghirardelli, get the door! Whitman, see to it the great hall is in readiness! I must prepare my bride for our wedding!”

(I have Princess Lolly old enough to marry, so, 18 at least. No mature tag.)

Tomorrow: Dotty Dog from The Get Along Gang was always a little careless. What if, like Cujo, she got careless with a rabid bat?

Description

“I have you now, my pretty!” cackled Lord Licorice as he observed the beautiful princess in chains, twirling his moustache.

“Oh, this is so stereotypical it’s pathetic!” shouted Princess Lolly. “Seriously? Kidnap the princess, twirl your moustache while calling her pretty? Just get to the part where you demand that I marry you and get it over with!”

“Well, if you’re suggesting….” Lord Licorice said with a leer. “Hershey! Cadbury! Release her!” The two chocolate bats undid the chains keeping Lolly prisoner.

“And let me guess,” Lolly said with a roll of her eyes. “You’re now going to tell your bats to bathe me and bring me to you.”

“Bats aren’t terribly good at the whole bathing thing, actually.” Licorice said with a shrug. “Truth is, Lolly dearest, that I’ve been worried about you. Ever since your father disappeared and your silly mother entrusted mere children with the task of finding him, I’ve worried how you fared. That’s why I sent my bats to bring you here for your safety. I do apologize if they were too rough with you. I assure you, I myself will treat you with all the respect due a princess. Perhaps, I can even get you to be more than a princess. Together, we can overthrow your foolish mother and put you on the throne! How does ‘Queen Lolly’ sound?”

“I don’t know what I’m more offended by!” Lolly scoffed. “Your gaslighting of me or your insults to my mother!”

“Well, she’s not doing too good of a job if she let you get captured.” Licorice said. “And I don’t expect to see anyone running to your rescue. That ‘warm heart’ Frostine is so proud of grows cold where her own daughter is involved.”

“The good of the kingdom comes first.” Lolly said primly. “Before even family. I’ve accepted this axiom since childhood. The Cost of the Crown my parents called it.”

“Well, Lolly,” Licorice said with a smile. “If that’s the case, perhaps you’ll prefer nobility to royalty. I’ll treat you very well as a guest in my castle. Make yourself at home, my dear. I only care about your safety and comfort. Perhaps I can even have a lollipop forest built on my grounds if that would make you happy.”

“If you’re hoping that Stockholm Syndrome will set in, you’ve got another thing coming.” Lolly told him. “Forget it, Lickers. We are not happening.”

“Well then, you leave me no choice.” Licorice sighed. “Mars, chow down!”

One of the bats darted at Lolly’s neck and bit down. Lolly tried to scream in pain but found her throat constricting so that not a sound came out. A wave of dizziness overtook her and she collapsed. Lord Licorice cackled gleefully.

“You see, Lolly, my dear.” said Licorice. “Mars here is, or was, a vampire. Thought he was tough. Named himself after a war god. While a proud warrior, Mars didn’t study magic as closely as he should, and long story short, he is stuck in bat form and under my control. Most of my bats eat bugs or fruit, but having a vampire on call has proved useful.”

Licorice knelt down to Lolly’s level. “You will sleep now, dearest.” He said gently. “And when you wake, you will be Lady Licorice, my faithful, dutiful bride. You’ll never see the light of day again, but you won’t care as long as you have me as your beloved husband. And I promise you, your first bloodmeal will be from the neck of your own mother!” Lord Licorice cackled in glee.

He scooped up the princess in his arms. “Ghirardelli, get the door! Whitman, see to it the great hall is in readiness! I must prepare my bride for our wedding!”

(I have Princess Lolly old enough to marry, so, 18 at least. No mature tag.)

Tomorrow: Dotty Dog from The Get Along Gang was always a little careless. What if, like Cujo, she got careless with a rabid bat?