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DATELINE MAY 10 2006, LOS ANGELES

Nintendo shocked the gaming community today by pushing Twilight Princess back yet again, announcing the immediate release of "The Legend of Zelda: Brokeback Death Mountain." The completely new game re-casts the Hylian hero as a rugged yet sensitive cattle wrangler. Speculation is already raging as to which character gets to be on the receiving end of Link's climactic line, "I just can't quit you."

Asked for details on the new game, Eiji Aonuma hinted that gameplay would be much more open-ended than past games, depending as much on the successful management of Link's relationships with other characters. He also said that the fishing mini-game would feature prominently in the storyline, and promised several other surprise innovations made possible by the Wii controller.

A Nintendo spokesman said that the series creators were responding to fan complaints that the Four Swords series, Wind Waker, and now Phantom Hourglass were "too cartoony", and aimed solely at younger children. "We anticipate reaching a completely new audience with this latest entry into the Zelda franchise." The game's release has yet to be tied down, and its price is still unknown.

Asked to comment, Shigeru Miyamoto would only say, "We just really liked the idea of Cowboy Link."

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The Legend of Zelda and all related characters are the property of Nintendo. This press release brought to you by a sick mind, and the Constitutional protection of parody as free speech.

In other news, coloring this took thirty-seven shades of forever, the learning of new brushes, stealing colors from official TP concept art, and more layers than I thought possible. BUT YAY IT WORKED (more or less). It's intended for submission to ~zeldafreakhall 's tenth contest, which is the wrong and horrible things that could be done to the Zelda franchise. There are yet MORE ideas where this came from... *cackles and rubs hands together*

Description
DATELINE MAY 10 2006, LOS ANGELES

Nintendo shocked the gaming community today by pushing Twilight Princess back yet again, announcing the immediate release of "The Legend of Zelda: Brokeback Death Mountain." The completely new game re-casts the Hylian hero as a rugged yet sensitive cattle wrangler. Speculation is already raging as to which character gets to be on the receiving end of Link's climactic line, "I just can't quit you."

Asked for details on the new game, Eiji Aonuma hinted that gameplay would be much more open-ended than past games, depending as much on the successful management of Link's relationships with other characters. He also said that the fishing mini-game would feature prominently in the storyline, and promised several other surprise innovations made possible by the Wii controller.

A Nintendo spokesman said that the series creators were responding to fan complaints that the Four Swords series, Wind Waker, and now Phantom Hourglass were "too cartoony", and aimed solely at younger children. "We anticipate reaching a completely new audience with this latest entry into the Zelda franchise." The game's release has yet to be tied down, and its price is still unknown.

Asked to comment, Shigeru Miyamoto would only say, "We just really liked the idea of Cowboy Link."

-------------

The Legend of Zelda and all related characters are the property of Nintendo. This press release brought to you by a sick mind, and the Constitutional protection of parody as free speech.

In other news, coloring this took thirty-seven shades of forever, the learning of new brushes, stealing colors from official TP concept art, and more layers than I thought possible. BUT YAY IT WORKED (more or less). It's intended for submission to ~zeldafreakhall 's tenth contest, which is the wrong and horrible things that could be done to the Zelda franchise. There are yet MORE ideas where this came from... *cackles and rubs hands together*