Comments: 137
Little-Leprechaun [2008-04-11 12:46:39 +0000 UTC]
I really love this, so well written, and your choice of words is amazing too. I like how you seperated some words for emphasis, and I especially like how you wrote 'every lonely night' descending like that.
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zephyr-baby [2007-04-20 18:50:17 +0000 UTC]
this is a very awesome poem. i'm the president of my local Students Against Drunk Driving chapter, and this is a poem I would love to use.
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zephyr-baby In reply to the-beastie [2007-04-25 00:37:40 +0000 UTC]
it would be made into a poster. if i could. i would credit you of course. if you wanted to make your own and submit it to SADD or MADD, that would be extremely awesome of you (see how i shameless promote my cause)
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the-beastie In reply to zephyr-baby [2007-04-25 15:41:19 +0000 UTC]
Unfortunately I don't have the artistic talent that would be required to make any sort of poster... I suppose you can if you want to, as long as you're not planning on using it for commercial purposes. :]
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zephyr-baby In reply to the-beastie [2007-04-25 17:19:55 +0000 UTC]
no it would be just one poster used in my school. if i made it, i would let you see it and get your permission and give you credit before i used it.
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sumarlegur [2007-04-09 04:22:08 +0000 UTC]
That is very impressive.
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TheFavoritesProject [2007-04-09 04:17:28 +0000 UTC]
Your piece has been favorited by the new Favorites Project! Congrats!
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TheFavoritesProject In reply to the-beastie [2007-04-09 15:12:36 +0000 UTC]
You are very welcome! This poem is my (PunknEra's) personal favorite, so I'm glad several others voted for it!
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the-beastie In reply to niper [2006-07-19 18:25:49 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! it's nice to see that some of my older work is still appreciated. :]
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spacegirl92 [2006-07-08 04:54:10 +0000 UTC]
wow! amazing! i think i could hear it, you described everything so well. brilliant!
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the-beastie In reply to spacegirl92 [2006-07-08 09:01:17 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, I'm glad some of my older poetry is still appreciated. :]
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predictariot [2005-11-15 23:24:41 +0000 UTC]
This is wonderful.
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EveryNextDream [2005-10-28 19:22:22 +0000 UTC]
Oh wow, this is truly amazing. It gave me chills when I read it...so graphic in it's descriptions and so beautiful.
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alphie0216 [2005-08-24 19:46:06 +0000 UTC]
Wow. i really like it. ilike the vantage point you wrote it from, speaking to the person at the wheel specifically. i like can't you hear it. it is creepy and kinda gross, the cracking of bones breaking. well written. great style!
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hexbox [2005-08-17 18:40:44 +0000 UTC]
wow...very moving. i'm not much a poet, but this is beautiful. i'm faving it for sure.
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Alisonia [2005-08-17 17:41:43 +0000 UTC]
I keep coming back & reading & re-reading this piece.
It's brilliant.
The way you space out the CRACK is just -
poetic perfection.
I can hear it, feel it, fear it.
You need to consider submitting this to MADD (mothers against drunk driving) or some organization of the sort, pehaps they would purchse user right from you for an ad campaign?
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nerdyglam [2005-07-23 00:47:11 +0000 UTC]
We both knew we were well above the limits:
all of them.
Too fast, too high and too intoxicated.
This is my favorite line.
I'm not sure I like the ending though. To me, it isn't up to par with the rest of the poem.
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the-beastie In reply to nerdyglam [2005-07-23 16:20:44 +0000 UTC]
thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate every ounce of critique I can get! :]
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pendulumpiece [2005-07-21 08:17:13 +0000 UTC]
toot went the favourite burger
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Alisonia [2005-07-20 20:35:52 +0000 UTC]
fucking awesome.
so powerful.
a definite fav.
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chuuko [2005-06-29 13:12:51 +0000 UTC]
I love how the plot flows with the imagery.
Also, until the very end, I thought that the speaker was on a leather couch. If you don't mind that misperception, then niether do I- but if you find it neccessary for me to be in a car at the beginning, then that wouldn't take away from the surprise, since nobody thinks about these kinds of endings anyway.
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