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ursulav — Gearworld: Jackalope Offering
Published: 2008-03-19 23:28:14 +0000 UTC; Views: 18972; Favourites: 455; Downloads: 427
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Description
My last gearworld painting was an offering to the gods of love--this one is an offering, if such exist, to the gods of psychopharmacology.I painted it while coming off a five-month stint on Effexor XR, an antidepressant. If you've never been in the state of requiring meds to haul you out of a hole--well, may the merciful gods keep such a fate far from you. A lot of the time it felt like I was crawling along, following a trail of exceedingly peculiar breadcrumbs, in the hopes that it'd lead back to myself at the end. And it did, and so I am terribly grateful to the miracles of modern chemistry, but at the same time, there's something very weird and a little freaky about deliberately hacking your own brain.
So, jackalope skull, hung with pills and the obligatory small fish, and my apologies for the pretentiousness of the imagery, but it was what I had to work with. The background graffiti is mostly a listing of side-effects and warnings to avoid alcohol/empty stomach/orgasms/heavy machinery/etc.
This, I suspect, is the last Gearworld painting for at least a little time--I felt the door in my head close with a click when it was done. Oh, well. It comes when it comes--back to waiting for the next crack under the door.
Acrylic/mixed media on gessoboard, 12 x 24, original is sold, prints are available, send a note or visit [link] for details.
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Comments: 91
I love this.
[*whispers* Is it a terrible reflection on me that I read it as "Jack Off" at first? How ironic, considering the typical libido-suppressing side-effects of anti-depressants...!]
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Effexor, eh? Yup, definitely been there. I knew Life was chewing on you pretty badly for a while there, but I didn't guess that it was clinical. Then again, that's not the sort of thing you broadcast to strangers with glee, I guess.
I'm glad to hear that it got you through the hard times, though. Too many people don't have the courage/knowledge/health insurance/etc. to reach out for help when they need it.
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Glad to hear that your feeling better - I was on Effexor XR for a short time as well, and Thank God we're off it! Life is better without meds, i think. While Effexor keeps you from being depressed, I also keeps you on an even kneel - so not sad, but not really happy either.
I love your art, and I think pills or not, you'll contine to be great at it. lol teach me<3
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I've been on Effexor ER for... 8? years now. It's life blood. Just about literally. So I offer hugs and support and a warm beverage and thank you for your art.
Though, I must say, I'm not familiar with the orgasm avoidance. 
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it looks like it was done by the famous painter Georgia O'Keeffe who painted cow sckulls
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haha xD I like this pic. It is comedy mixed with ordinary stuff as it usually is in your pics.
haha xD I can't stop laughing for myself when I see the fish, it was a great idea to have it in your pic.
Lovely work~
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That is wonderfully amazing! I'm especially appreciative of the graffiti.
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this reminds me of georgia o'keeffe (sorry). but there's something about a skull in the middle of a paper that has been so well known by her that it reminds me of her. that aside, this is a wonderful painting, it's very well rendered and the wall behind makes the skull in an unusual place. the pills and fish make it more interesting, however the total image is still very well balanced (not like it's a bad thing)
the rendering and bluntness makes this piece very drawing to the eye
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sorry to hear that this is the last of the gearworld offerings, but if it's served it's purpose then it can only be a good thing. I hope that you are in a better place now.
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I like the piece, but more importantly am glad to hear that you are better. I have not experienced what you had been going through, and only wish you all the best for the future lying ahead.
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I have been lurking around your gallery for a year or two now, ever since stumbling across it, and I truly enjoy your work, from your talent to your imagination (and the silliness, too). Alot of your paintings and the captions you write for them make me giggle. I just don't comment much because I don't really have anything constructive to say. I guess I never imagined, what with the vibrant characters and worlds and things you create, that you would have depression problems....but I should probably know better. I've dealt with mild to moderate levels of depression myself, though I refused to take medication for it since I get every side effect in the book (decongestants turn me into a homicidal maniac, I'd hate to imagine a deliberate brain-hacker's side effects...until I discovered the wonder that is medical marijuana...but that's another story) Sometimes the art is what keeps you sane, I guess....but at any rate, hang in there! We love you!
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Very cool jackalope skull. I may have my own foray into psychopharmacology in the near future. That remains uncertain as of yet. I agree that the idea of "hacking one's brain" is kinda freaky, even when potentially helpful. Meh. We'll see how it goes, if it goes.
Maybe I'll just pray to the gods of psychopharmacology.
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mum's on effexor, and ive been hoppin from lovan to zoloft for awhile, i sure need me one-o these worship jackalopes!
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honestly, now... I just want you to know that you are probably one of my favorite artists that I know of here on DA. I greatly enjoyed reading your gearworld blogs on livejournal. I wish they'd come back. As a writer myself, I can really appreciate your work. You have this metaphor of the mind that is quite amazing and totally correct.
But more so, I also am going through that antidepressant hell, and I totally agree with you on that one. I am one of the Paxil people, blessed with the one pill of it's class that has, in fact, THE worst withdrawals. It's terrible, scary, and, as you say, "there's something very weird and a little freaky about deliberately hacking your own brain." I find even more depressing when a pill actually works, because I then know that I am dependent on it to feel GOOD. I want ME to make me feel good... but... well you know.
I didn't exactly think of it that way before, and you're right. The hacking part.
Also, I too am looking for the breadcrumbs. It seems, however, that I instead find half eaten loaves of bread, and I find them every blue moon, just enough to keep me alive.
Bottom line: keep it up.
-A fan
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Sry to butt in, but I don't think you guys have the 'hacking' thing right. It may seem like that, but the pills are supposed to correct a chemical imbalance, so it's more like your adding lube to the engine, than hacking a computer and changing the program.
Stuff justs gets worn out and doesn't want to work so you add something to fix it, it really doesn't change anything...
Hehe, just my thoughts on your concept, but take it with a grain of salt, cus I've never had to take happy pills or even pain pills before >.<
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heh well, i do have to say that you are right on some parts. The lube to the engine thing is an excellent metaphor. That's pretty good; I do believe I have to add that to my list. However, imagine that this engine was to come with lube already in it (yeah, duh... I know. but...) and this lube was supposed to never, ever be replaced. Yet, in this case, the engine of people like me and ursulav here did not come with that self-replenishing, never-really-have-tho-worry about it lube. We have to add something that catalyzes the engine into making this lube. Furthermore, the stuff we put in? If we go without it for a while, the engine is worse off than it was in the first place. Say, the engine goes into withdrawals.
I hope that makes sense. No insult or anything; you defiantly are making sense, but seeing as you haven't experienced this... well, ya know. Whatever.
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Cha cha, I get it, I was thinking of that too, and I'm not sure why I didn't correct myself.
Right, like natural oil has no side-effects, while the oil that is added is crude and can damage the engine if more oil isn't sonstantly being pumped in. Teh thing is, if you stop pumping in oil, the grime builds up, damaging the engine, and since brains can't be replaced like engine blocks, the only thing we can perceive doing is reparing the damage. AND unfortunately theres really no way to clean out a persons brain, cept for labotomies and those really never work >.>
I guess technology isn't advanced enough to deal with these kinds of problems yet? Psycho-therapy is the only solution I can think of, but I doubt its credibility...
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yeah. they are a very shaky thing right now, with more bad side effects than good ones.
however, depression wasn't even a concept until about 20 years ago or so. so... whatevs.
yay metaphors.
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Aren't they nice? They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. (my friend said it was my 'retardation' kicking in 
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Yeah... sure >.> (3.7 GPA)
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I know how you feel, I've spent a good chunk of my life being shuffled from one horrible medication to another, and withdrawal has always sucked. Right now I'm fine though, and I hope to be completely free from my meds in a year.
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It's a beautiful image and I really love work that deals with some specific situations as this does (without being too literal.) So yeah, +fav.
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"...there's something very weird and a little freaky about deliberately hacking your own brain."
That's certainly an interesting take on it.
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I hated being on antidepressants. Not fun in the least bit. My mom actually had to take me out of my freshman year for a week so that I could adjust to the meds. They freaked me out that much...i was so glad when i got off of them.
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Gorgeous as always. I've been on effexor for about 2 and a half years now, and while it was a god send I don't look forward to coming off it soon
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Oddly enough, I think my favourite part is the three red beads on the string. I don't make any sense at all.
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I've been on Effexor XR for YEARS now, and I'm just now coming off it.... It's been a very dizzy few weeks.
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This is one of your best ones, and I'm glad to hear you're doing better. Best of luck in the future.
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Damn, that's just ingenious, indeed.
And I mean it!
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You're not allowed to have orgasms when you're on antidepressants? O-o
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Glad to hear you're doing better, Ursula.
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It's difficult for me to comment the 'mind and medications' as I never had any experience in that matter. But the painting is so unique. It's symbolism and strange aura it gives off... One must learn a lot to understand the nature of Gearworld.
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Awesome! As usual, I love the detail and the colors!
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So your taking crack under doors now are you?
Awesome drawing.
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AT first I thought those pills were jelly beans....lol, My son remarked "It's funny how a silly postcard started all this jackalope stuff".
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Funny just an hour ago I was moving the stuffed jackalope head we have at the museum to another shelve, while remarking to my colleague that the floor will soon give in under the weight of our collections. Maybe the day the floor finally collapses under us, it will open a doorway into Gearworld? I'd rather not find out!
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I've been on Effexor XR for roughly...two maybe three years now and this is just me, but I haven't really seen much of a change. We actually doubled my dosage last year (or two years ago). It's good to see it works for you, Ursla. I'm more or less in a stable place but ehh, w'ever. If I had the $$$ I would buy a print. I just re-watched the episode of The Simpsons when Lisa was "sad" and first met BleedinGums Murphy, that episode completely compliments this piece.
~*KA*~
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I have been wandering in the dark for a long time. Just starting to find those bread crumbs you mention, still at the point where I am wondering where they lead. Still the smell of fresh air is at times close enough to grant me a renewed sense of purpose.
Thank you for your work and your words.
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Such a powerful image, especially one that represents what is going on in your life. Just stunning!
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I'm on the exact same thing, so I know EXACTLY what you mean.
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