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RedKaiKen — Trust
Published: 2009-12-26 04:40:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 3763; Favourites: 166; Downloads: 28
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"I have trust issues..."I say as you sit and stare.
"So, what do you mean?"
You ask, not understanding.
I don't know how to explain.
But I try my best.
"I have trouble trusting people."
I slowly say.
"Oh."
You simply say.
As if you understand.
"Well, that's not,
That big of a deal."
You don't understand.
"Yes it is."
I simply say.
"I don't see how that is,
Everyone is like that."
You try to play it down.
"No, you're wrong."
So very wrong.
You don't know what its like,
To be around your friends and familly,
The people you care about.
And not trust them.
Not be able to trust them.
No matter how much you want to.
You don't know what it feels like.
The paranoia, the fear.
The guilt, the pain.
The self-hate, the resentment.
Feel so empty inside.
So isolated from everyone.
Even around many, I feel so alone.
"Why are you like this?"
You ask.
"Because of my past."
I say quietly.
"Your past?"
You want to understand.
"Yes, my trust was abused,
Back when I was younger."
Abused?
It was ripped apart.
Never want to be like that again.
I was back-stabbed,
So many times.
I can't keep track.
They came in and ruined,
My trust in human kind.
I wasn't like this,
They made me this.
I want to trust.
But I can't.
I could get hurt again.
I might get hurt again.
I would get hurt again.
Trust leads to nothing,
But pain and misery.
I learned that the hard way.
Trust broke my soul.
Trust shattered my heart.
Trust ruined my life.
So I won't open myself up to that.
Not again, not ever.
But I lied.
I want to trust.
I really do.
I can trust.
I really can.
But only to some.
Only a few.
"Well, do you trust me?"
You simply ask.
"Why must you ask that?"
"Because I want to know."
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes."
"Will it change our friendship?"
"Never."
"Are you telling the truth?"
"Of course I am, I wouldn't lie to you."
I tell you.
You're surprised.
I thought you'd understand.
You didn't.
I told you the truth.
That means I care enough,
Not to lie to you.
You said it would change nothing.
I was willing to trust you.
You lied.
I want to trust you, I really do.
"I have trust issues..."
"So, what do you mean?"
"I have trouble trusting people."
"Oh, well, that's not, that big of a deal."
"Yes it is."
"I don't see how that is, everyone is like that."
"No, you're wrong."
"Why are you like this?"
"Because of my past."
"Your past?"
"Yes, my trust was abused, back when I was younger."
"Well, do you trust me?"
"Why must you ask that?"
"Because I want to know."
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes."
"Will it change our friendship?"
"Never."
"Are you telling the truth?"
"Of course I am, I wouldn't lie to you."
I wanted to trust you, I really did.
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Comments: 141
This is absolutely beautiful in such a truthful way that it practically hurts. I have had almost this exact conversation with a friend but then we somehow drifted apart when I had thought that we had actually gotten closer. You have a way with words
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Yes, its once people say that you can trust them, then they go right ahead and betray you. Thats when it gets even worse. But I dont think i would have the guts to ever tell anyone.
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I can't belive you told it to someone. I haven't. At least face to face. I'd give everything to be able to let my wounds be seen but I can't like you said I'm afraid people will make them deeper. It's easier thought to speak it like this. To people I'll never meet. This just makes the burden to lift. Thank you so much for encourage.
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Wow, this is amazing....it matches exacly how I feel. I want so badly to trust people, but I just can't....And I always trust my online friend easisly, unlike the ones I have in rl....This is very beautiful, it feels good to know theres someone out there who feels the same way I do.....
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I just had a problem with this.
Literally like, three days ago.
I told them all of this.
I told them that I didn't trust them fully after a year. They where heart broken. They told me they can't be with me if I don't trust them. Like the expect me to just grow trust like an amputated limb.
I can't stand how people just don't try to understand issues like that.
It's just... heartless.
/gross sobbing/
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I have the same problems with trust like you do, but it's more with family than friends.
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This is exactly how I feel. It feels amazing having my dilemma put down so beautifully! Wow
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This story is completely real for me.I trust no one but my mother and even her I don't tell everything.....................
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I also have trust issues, I'm glad I'm not the only one
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I love you...
i actually was just having this conversation with my boyfriend today just maybe an hour ago..
im trying my very hardest to trust him because i want to..
i want to trust someone
but im so scared..
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This really good, i love the way you wrote. I now what its like to feel like this, i use to trust people so much all that has been shattered. Anyway this is amazing and really powerful piece
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this is wonderful work, and i can relate to the trust issue thing. good job.
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Mr. RedKaiKen... I understand completely. These days, trustworthy people are endangered species... therefore I trust in God alone, and tell Him my secrets and all the hurt, all the pain that I feel as well. It hurts so much. Too see these people gossiping around and stabbing people--behind their backs at that.
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I understand this completly and have the same situation. my best friend actually just broke my trust...
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I have trust issues.
Whenever I trust someone, they always stab me in the back.
The issue, I can't stop trusting them.
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I think i just found a like minded person.
Thank you for putting my life into words. It really is a nice poem
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Oh my God you just put into words my whole life.
I wish I could fav this a thousand times over.
Thank you so much for writing this. I really might print this out just to have and to read once in a while.
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i hused to have this problem smtin bad happended 2 me 2 demish the trust i worked through it
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Aww, thank you, glad you liked it
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Heh, in my short life I've been betrayed by all the friends I made. I can relate to you; you want to trust someone again, but you're scared of being hurt once more...
In other words, this is a great poem, I really like it~
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I'm Constantly reminded of how I want to trust people, but never will because of that stupid incident from my childhood. If your trust issues are anything like mine, then I'm awfully sorry.
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This speaks to me.Trust issues. I have them a lot. This is beautiful though. Great job
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I know this feeling and I can really relate to your poem.
I've been betrayed very often when I was younger, I used to trust people and the way they thanked me was stabbing me with a knife in the back...
Well, I hope you'll find someone you can really, completely trust one day
I wish that everything goes well for you, take care.
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Sorry that you have been betrayed too. Its hard to go through life having that happen.
I hope you will find someone too
And thank you <3
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Thank you, I appreciate it 
Thanks so much
You're very welcome
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I have had that coversation with myself so many times in the past it's not funny. Finding it written down here was scary I know the feeling, i wish i could trust someone...
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Oh wow. Sorry to hear that you have trust issues too. I hope we can both over come them
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*huggles* so beautifully written and I can relate so much.
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Tragically beautiful, it really speaks to me on a personal level.
I have a similar problem - while I still trust people after a relatively short time of knowing them, I seem to always get hurt, and it just makes things harder the next time I met someone. It just gets worse.
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Aww, thank you so much <3
That's what happened to me when I was younger... Now I find it almost impossible to trust people. I hope you will get better and that the people you trust don't hurt you
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I hope that you'll be able to trust again too.
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I'm slowly getting better and opening up more to people, so its a start ^^
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i know exactly what you mean by this. All my life I've had trouble trusting anyone around me, not even my closest relatives. So I know exactly where you're coming from with this. My heart goes out to this.
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Aww, thank you so much. And I'm sorry you had trouble trusting too
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Lol, that I understand x3
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Oh wow, really? I'm up in Maryland, and I just think we got the sneaky politicians to deal with >.<
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Hehe, yep yep. Nope, I didn't hear a thing -.^ lol. Oh wow, I'm sure you'll run into someone that's okay.
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Lol, then I wish you luck with getting a job. I'm currently trying to get one >.<
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